running, running running, i'm always running for something or from something, when my life gets too stagnant then i feel like i'm suffocating, i need constant change. and i'm not sure why. i think i'm going to texas for spring break this year. and i definitely don't mind, even if we have to drive (in europe, i was in the car between 4 and 16 hours every single day. i'm used to long drives, hehe). But really, I haven't been to San Antonio in a really long time. Monday is the meeting for that thing, where if i qualify and my parents feel like paying for it, i'm going to france, italy, and malta on some short exchange program. I think maybe i get really excited about these things now, but when they actually come, i'm going to be so afraid...afraid that i'm going to lose everyone while i'm gone, or that things will change while i'm gone. if i end up with a 3.5 this quarter, i get a cell phone FINALLY! woo hoo! glimpse of the past for the day: bacardi, smirnoff, budweiser, busch, rum, vodka, everclear February 15, 2004 i want to get drunk off my ass. right now. well, i didnt feel very loved at all earlier today when i found out something about two of my friends, but its ok, because i went to my friends house and we had fun dancing and acting like idiots. i feel whole, i feel like nothing is missing in my life. does anyone know any buyers? _____________________ someone, give me a few shots. pretty fucking please? (0 comments) | rip my heart out ____________________________________ im so sick of being 15. my whole life has been waiting for something, and i'm not sure how much more patient i can be.