and i wonder what i ever did that was so good to deserve such nice things. ...not that i'm complaining. definitely not complaining : ) ____________________________________ i had this really weird dream last night, and i just remembered it. i made cheerleading, even though i didn't try out? and i remember knowing i was going to be sore, and being sad but excited. which is weird, because i'm really not the type of person who could get other people excited haha, i'm one of the most apathetic people in the crowd. maybe this means i'm changing in some way? i have sixteen math assignments due monday. do i know how to do them? of course not haha, if i did it wouldn't be so much fun : ) haha, there are all these little boyscouts running down my street screaming, i guess its can-goods time or something...i remember when i was a girlscout... ________________________________ i despise the aftertaste of pizza. [to me] it tastes like vomit. but of course the pizza is worth it usually ______________________________________ eh, my neck and upper back hurt :/ maybe from carrying so much shit around yesterday. it was weird, last night everything went along with this strokes song, that i happened to have in my head part of the time. I am not: afraid. I hurt: behind closed doors, or when my emotions overflow. I love: my friends I hate: those who go out of their way to be mean to people who don't deserve it. ex: in the movie i watched last night, there was someone trying to make a retarted kid eat shit, and the kid was crying really hard. things like that are horrible. I fear: failure, in some cases i guess. i fear ending up alone. I hope: that the future [taking a worldwide view] will be better. I hear: a lot more than you probably think. I crave: his touch. I regret: things every now and then, even when i try not to. I cry: when i'm sad. relatively normal, yes? I care: because i can't and don't want to help it. I always: assume too quickly. I long to: take a spur-of-the-moment road trip. I feel alone: after i have had a lot of people over and they leave. I listen: when someone talks to me. I hide: while playing hide and seek. i miss that game, haha. I drive: relatively well? I sing: because music is a part of me. I dance: horribly. I write: when i feel like it I breathe: because it is a human instinct and it is required to live. these surveys annoy me somewhat, haha I play: like i am still a little kid I miss: things I search: for the truth. I learn: when i can. I feel: apathetic often. I know: only change is constant. I say: what i mean. i dont say what i fear might be true. I succeed: sometimes. I fail: sometimes. I dream: just like everybody else. I sleep: To escape this world. I wonder: about everything. I want: to understand as much as possible. I worry: way too much. ive been told by more than one person that i should try smoking pot, because i get so worked up worrying. I have: tons of math homework that i should be doing right now, but i'm too lazy. I would give: anything. I fight: verbally. I wait: impatiently, but savoring my impatience; i know that soon the thing i am waiting for will be over. I need: change. I am: a fifteen year old girl I think: too much, i suppose. I can't help the fact that: : ) I stay: because i want to. __________________________________ fifteen seems so young. i wish my birthday was tomorrow.