columbia missouri is now the first city in missouri to decriminalize marijuana. maybe someday when i try it, it will not even be illegal anymore, if change keeps on going : ) change is good. i'm taking a poll. have any of my close friends noticed a difference in the last few days? please comment, or IM me, or whatever, with your response. well, because, i think i have noticed a difference in myself, and the way i feel. i never realized i had so many negative feelings until they were gone. i no longer feel like i'm being pressured to be something that i'm not and never will be. i don't feel pressured to be racist, which i never will be, i don't feel pressured to be pious, which i never will be, i don't feel pressured to be a far right conservative, which i never will be, and i no longer feel pressured to lose my sometimes feminist thoughts, which i will never do. and i will never judge people by their clothes, i will never be homophobic, i will never accept the false truth that there is only one right path through life and its known as christianity. and i will never ever be any of these things. so, take me as i am, or leave me as i am. i feel like i can be myself around people...no matter how zany or quirky i may be at times, i feel like they accept me. i feel more confident. when people at school talk to me, i can look them in the eye and answer without looking at the floor or hanging my head! i even talk to people before they talk to me, sometimes. my shyness is dissapearing!! i've realized that deep down, i'm actually a pretty happy person. i've realized that i love my friends, and that i enjoy helping people. i notice now that people smile at me, and people notice me. i am an independent, agnostic, smiling, laughing girl of fifteen. and i'm not afraid to be myself, even if it means admitting things like that i was daydreaming about sex in mr. peters's class the other day and that may have something to do with the fact that i don't get this new stuff we are doing, or that when i was little i was in love with john smith from pocahontas. i love you all, i know i don't tell you all that much, but i do. and you know what i've realized? i love life. on a less significant note, i still can't find the muse cd. eh, i was actually talking more about the breakup lol, but oh well.