i have admitted that i am hypocritical, every single person alive is a hypocrite in some way. i don't hate you. it's quite clear that you didn't understand the point i was trying to get across. i just really don't appreciate it when you say things mean about me behind my back, and act nice to me to my face. maybe everyone else lets it fly, but i'm not like that. i can guess that the comment about stupid people was aimed at me the other day, since you were staring at me the whole time when you were talking about it. well, what does this say about you? i admit, i'm wrong. and that's why i don't care anymore. i don't want anything to do with you, but i'm not going to make stupid cough drop comments at lunch anymore, because really...it's your choice (obviously) how to live your life. if you want to be mean to people that didn't do anything to you (and i'm not talking about me, i know i've done things to you) or that don't deserve it, or the people who consider you their friends, that is your choice. you, however, missed the mark completely by theorizing that i am being mean to you because you're happy, i'm not, and i'm jealous. obviously someone that needs to be mean as a 'defense mechanism' and talks about how they used to burn and cut themselves is not a happy person. everyone makes their own way in this world. my only point was (and i understand it really shouldn't matter) do you get a kick out of making people unhappy? do you think it makes my day when i find out you want me to not have a party with aleksandra, because you don't like me, and yet you always came to all of my parties? i may not be happy all the time, but i am certainly not unhappy. i know that i have a lot to live for, and i consider myself lucky in a lot of aspects. oh, and by the way. there is a huge difference between being happy and being full of yourself. "'thou wast ever a proud and ill-tongued speaker, and a misfortunate one. Thy sorrow will come from thine own mouth." -Merlyn, "The Once and Future King" by T.H. White.