Sometimes I wonder why I let myself think. I wonder why I let myself relive things that only make me cry. I let myself sit and cry. And don't do anything. I think about the past too much. And need to live now. Not then. Not things that I wish were still here. Because they can never be back. No matter how much I try to make them come back. I hate when things change. I hate to have to get used to things. I hate not being able to do things that I want. I hate not being able to have the same feelings anymore. I hate sitting for hours. With one thought in my head. Just sitting there. And crying over everything. Not realizing that everything I had is gone. Not having something there. Not having anything there. Sitting and crying is all I can do..