Twelve days until my birthday that is. I will be fifteen. Yayy for that. I won't feel any different and I already know it. Another year down the drain. It's gone by too fast anyway. Things to remember from my year: -I met Mike. I loved and lost. But isn't that the story of my life? I think so. -I got into photography. Something that keeps me happy. -My last year in middle school/first year in high school. -I went to New Jersey. Those are probably the most memorable things of my year. I feel that this entry could get pretty long. Yes indeedy it might. I started thinking about Mike tonight because I was reading all of my Xanga entries. I remember showing him all of the things I would put in there about him. I hate that he's gone. I cannot stand it. In times like these, I cannot help but to think about him and it hurts me all over again. I want to hate him but I can't. I can never hate him. Never. I just wish I could talk to him every now and then just to see how he's doing. That's all I want. Not to bitch at him for breaking up with me, or to be mean to him in any way, just to know what he has been doing, how he's doing in school, and how he is! It's all I want but somehow I don't think I'll even get that. I don't blame him for any of this. I really don't. I think what he did was for the best but it's hard for me to accept. Him breaking up with me made me feel like even though he said he still loved me, he was lying. I don't know. Maybe he does still love me. Somehow. I don't know anymore. I really don't. Enough about him though. It just makes me cry over and over and I don't need to relive these moments anymore. It doesn't help me at all. I just realized that they never did either. I'm not doing the best in school. My grades aren't so hot and I really need to pull them up. Especially in Geometry but I don't even understand any of that shit yet. Hopefully I'll get it sooner or later. Maybe it will just click. Yeah. Right. I got a hair cut on Saturday. I love it so much. When I take pictures, I'll be sure to post pictures and you all can tell me if you like it. It's much shorter now. Looks better in pig tails. ;p I got a new phone on Friday too. I was upset because I thought I wasn't going to but I actually did so I was uber happy about that. Yes, something as materialistic as a new cell phone can make me happy sometimes. Ahh well. I guess it's just important that I am happy. Something I could hear Kevin saying. Ahh. I love him. He's so there for me. ♥ Kevin and I have a weird relationship. Not in a bad way for the record. I used to be so in love with him and then he decided that he didn't want to affect my life like he knew he was since he lives so far away. Yeah. I hated him for a long time but then amazingly we started talking again. Everything was awkward for awhile but now I think I love him more than I did in the beginning. He always helps me with my homework when I need it and he cares about me so much. Ahh. He's so sweet. He knows how much I love him. I'm almost finished with my social studies project. Since it's due Thursday, I better hope that it's almost finished. Lol. I wish I would have finished it a long time ago, but as long as it looks fairly decent, and I get a good grade, then I'm not really complaining. I'm running out of things to say. I will definitely update more in here. Hopefully you enjoy my boring life stories. I love you all. ♥