I know I was wrong. So please just take this offering. It's all of me. Black spins circles around my conscience. This stale responsibility is killing me. Hey, I never wanted to hurt anyone but you did. What did you say? It's days like these I think I'll never go back out there. It's easier to be alone like this. Yet again, a song that describes my life. What else is new? I talked to him again tonight. At times I think that it hurts me more to talk to him than to not. But I realized that maybe it hurts me just the same. I'll be totally happy when he signs on and then everything changes and we end up talking about how everything used to be. I hate bringing all of it up sometimes but I feel like I have to. Like I have to make myself cry.. He was the most important thing to me. He was all I ever thought about. I would fall asleep thinking about him, I would dream about him, and then I would wake up and talk to him. Every day. Every fucking day of my summer vacation after we first started talking. It was so great. I told him everything. Every stupid little thing that crossed my mind, he knew about. We were exactly alike. We liked the same things and laughed at the same jokes. It was what we used to have. He said not to look at it as breaking up but to look at it as taking a break. But I can't. I can't help but to look on the bad side of things. I can't help but to think that one day we'll no longer talk and that we will never gain back what we used to have. That nothing will be the same between us. Absolutely nothing. I think about how much I want to say that all of this will never matter. That no matter how many times I cry over him in a certain amount of time, it will never make him love me anymore than he does and it will never bring him closer to me. It will never make things the way I want them to be. Not anymore. I only wish that everything was different. Maybe not how it used to be. But different to where I still had him. I could still talk to him every day and nothing felt awkward between us. That we were perfectly happy..