I've hit a point now that I'm realizing I don't know which direction to travel. I fight the urge to withdraw, but still it happens...but now I see it happening and decide to actually talk about things. I also realize that my decisions won't always be the best ones for me to make, But at least I'm learning to live with the consequences and not blame it on something or someone else. I might be screwing up, but at least my coping skills are starting to show a little. whats the saying...want to make an omellette? you've got to break a few eggs. Yes, I'm screwing up, and people will feel hurt because they cant understand. I've learned that no matter what you do, someone always gets hurt. Whether you want them too or not...it's just a part of life. Nobody can be perfect, but people expect you to put on some kind of act and pretend that every move you make will be the right one, and every day you live you feel as right as rain. But I'm sorry, because I can't put on the act right now. I make mistakes and I have bad days....just like everyone else. This is me feeling myself out, getting used to my environment, my emotions, and my actions. So if I do something that seems to make no sense, or I act out in a way you feel isn't right. Just ask. I try to be a pretty open person these days, I'm not always good at it but I try. I used to feel like a human doing, rather than a human being. Now I feel like a human being able to break down and start over again. Nobody is perfect, but everyone can be whole. I'm not there yet, but I will be.