Aggression

by paul
Listening to: an angry air filter
Feeling: old
So, earlier today I'm sitting in my Aggression class. And we are discussing things that make us angry lately and how we have dealt with them....everyone in the room had a chance to speak up about whatever came to mind. I said I feel aggressive about my past. It makes me angry that I had become irritable and distant. It makes me angry to feel like I've lost more good than I seem to be gaining right now. Then I gave my ways of dealing with this anger. As much as I want to yell and scream about everything thats gone wrong, I just can't...I used to just hold it in. Ignore it. Accept that this is who I am now (this statement is partly true, because I really do have to learn to accept who I am now). I want somebody to blame for me feeling guilty about pushing people away, or blowing up and arguing about everything. So I deal with it by attending the intensive group therapy, going to these classes and doing one on one therapy sessions...I'm here to learn the tools on expressing and being able to feel the things I have been ignoring. So after today I have opted to spend some more time in this program, because this is supposed to be my second and last week...I wonder how my boss will take that?
Read 9 comments
I think that is smart to stay another week. You need to do what is best for you, and your boss will have to deal with it cause this is your life that your dealing with and if you want it to suceed, you have to be willing to make the sacrafice. I think that after all the things that you have been through, three weeks of therapy doesnt seem like that much! I dunno if I could handle the things that you have been though so give yourself some credit.
How did the talk with your dad go by the way!?
I know it's hard not to, but try not to be too concerned with your boss right now. If he cant understand, then it's his loss. There are a million jobs in this world.
Im in a group too. Im also in 1-on-1 therapy sessions. The group is for kids whos parents are alcoholic/drug addicts. The lady tells us how to communicate how we feel. We talk about how our parents abuse has affected us.

I understand where you are coming from, is what I'm trying to get at.
so now that your job with getting kate to believe you is done youre not writing here anymore ?
[Anonymous]
how dare you hurt kate??! i wanted to believe that youd changed and that you would finally treat kate as she deserves to be treated ,..
[Anonymous]
but it looks like youve let yourself down again. oh , well. youve just lost the best thing you ever had , my friend.tell me...was it worth the anger?
[Anonymous]
was the time you saved not calling her backa and ignoring her messages worth losing her? ASK YOURSELF PAUL ! it can NEVER get better than kate.she can do better , because of the beautiful person she is , but youre going to have to work on yourself if you want to find peace and happiness for yourself again. otherwise , all you'll ahve to look forward to is a lifetime of misery , regret and thoughts of what might have been.


be well.
[Anonymous]
well... i do not feel the same way whom ever that was that just wrote those other comments, but I do wonder where the actions behind your words are... only you know...