Last night, I rented the notebook...came home took my medication and watched my movie. What an incredibly sad/happy movie. although because of the meds I slept through parts of it...so I'll try to watch it again tonight. 5 A.M. today my alarm goes off, time to get into uniform and go to drill. Today was an interesting day of testing. First test of the day...P.T. (physical testing), the Army requires us to take and pass this test every six months. The test includes 2 minutes to do push-ups (42 minimum score), 2 minutes for sit ups (51 minimum score) and 16 minutes for a two mile run. Well, I'm a little sore, and just flat out exhausted but I passed. The highlights of my day were being able to talk to Kate, just to tell her I missed her, say hello and let her know she is in my thoughts. Today is day two since I've quit smoking...so far I have gone without using the patch or any of the nicotine gum, I'm just proud that I've quit right now. But like everything else going on in my life....I've got a long uphill battle before things get any better. But at least right now I'm content knowing that sometimes things just have to get worse before they can get better. Kim has been staying at her boyfriends house about 40 minutes away from where I currently reside. She's been there since I let her know that I am in love with Kate, and that I truelly believe that we have a chance for greatness. She wasn't exactly happy about it, but like I said...she has a boyfriend, It's not my fault he dosent treat her right....I'm not going to be the filler for her bad relationship. Kim and I never officially had a relationship to begin with...We just found support in each other in the time we spent together. We found brief moments of happiness together. But I feel like I'm meant for something more. I have more to offer, maybe not just yet...but I can see something off in the distance, a dream, or a future, or a plan. I feel like I have more than just brief moments of happiness to share, but a whole lifetime of happiness. Somewhere out there, among the broken pieces...are the shadows of my old self finally emerging into the light. Somewhere there is a love and a partnership being found all over again. Somewhere in the future my heart and soul are returning home. I love you Kate