Wow. It's been two and a half years since I have written here. Needed a place to go and talk, relieve pressure, maybe vent where no one knows me. I have deleted all of my friends from here. I haven't talked to any of them since I gave up SitD back in '05. We'll see who shows back up.

So a lot has happened, and a lot is going my way, but I've tried to type 3 entries on here today, and it's all been erased!!! So I'm taking this as a sign that maybe I don't need to lay my private life out here in public. So I'm moving my blog.......For now anyhow....If you are truely my friend, you know were it has gone.

Hey ya'll, I just got my callout - headed to a rig owned by my old company. I fly out 0500 tomorrow morning. Yeah, THANKSGIVING morning!!! Sheesh! Eh, I kinda figured it would happen that way. That's why I get paid what I get paid to do this kinda (easy) work. Anyhow, I sould be back in a couple of weeks. Ya'll take care, and God Bless! The Rat

Well, my friend/soon-to-be-roomie has found a couple of houses that we are fixing to go check out. I am kinda nervous. I am about to enter into a year-long contract that pertains to my living situation. I haven't lived in a real house in almost 3 years. I haven't had a roomie in six months, and I haven't had a female roomie in almost 3 years. I have to get 98% of the stuff out of my apartment out today. I am calling friends to help and no one is home......most of the guys are offshore......Including the one that I will be moving in with for a month until my other friend and I move into the house. STRESS!!! On a happier note, I will be leaving behind a lot of memories that I have at my current residence, and begin making new ones at my new home(s) while starting a new life again. I went out by myself the other night to watch some football and have some wings at BW3's. I was just chillin out and this girl started talking to me and invited me to the table there with her and her sister and her sister's boyfriend. We ended up hitting it off really well, and have plans to meet up for dinner later this week. She is, I think, too much older than me to seriously consider a relationship, but she is a blast to hang out with, and she is REALLY hot!!! LOL! MILF!! Okay, I'm over it now. Point is, I'm doing a lot better than I thought I would be right now. I went to workout last night and planned on just doing like 15-30 minutes of weight work, but ended up doing 30 mins on the bike and felt so good about it that I did another 30 mins on the elliptical (SP?) trainer. I am SO loving life! Just being me has done me really well thus far. Anyhow, I need to run, have to meet up to check out the houses we are looking at. Ya'll take care, and God bless. The Rat

Well, back to packing - got almost my whole kitchen done, most of my bedroom, some of the office, fixing to work on the bathroom. I am so sick of moving. Hopefully just one more major one for the next decade. It really sucks not having my friends here helping me and B.S.ing. This sucks. On a brighter note, I had a blind date last night. It didn't go bad, but it wasn't excellent. Perhaps a new friend. We'll see. I met with one of my best friends back home before the date and we shot some pool and had a couple of beers together. Then I picked her up and we had some really good mexican food. Cruised around the town and then out in the country for awhile. It really was fun, and nice to have a good conversationalist with me. Met back up with my friend after the date and shot a couple more games of pool at this little dive bar back home that we meet up at. Then we went to another spot in town that had some live music playing, and I started running into a LOT of old friends....Like folks I haven't seen in 5+ years. Ran into a girl that I sponsored when I was in 8th grade and she was in first.....then we hung out and smoked! LOL! That was REALLY strange. Kinda made me feel old.....but getting hit on by the girls from back home really made up for it though. I kinda miss my home......maybe when I buy my home next year, I can get my company to let me live down there. We'll see. Well, I'll try to update in the next day or so. Ya'll take care, and God Bless! The Rat

11-07-05 - 0152 It has been months since I’ve written anything from a rig. Kinda strange to do my SitD on MSWord and have to cut and paste it again when I get home. Kinda strange to be on a rig again period. Kinda nice to be settling in again, and feeling ‘at home.’ Sometimes I need this. I have done about all the work that there is to do with the tool that we have out here. The day lead man seems pretty confident that I can handle myself (a bit more confident than I am, actually,) and is already talking about a week and a half from now when he leaves for vacation. I have no doubts that by then that I will have a solid grasp on how this tool works, and will be able to operate it, maintain it, and represent my company in a manner that is conductive to good business, pure professionalism, and in a manner that I want to represent myself. I am rather proud that I have taken this assignment and ran with it……to the extent that I can anyhow. The lead left me in charge today to prep for tomorrows work and he went to bed. I had to coordinate the efforts of about 10 men to get the job done, and it was completed about as smoothly as could be imagined. I wouldn’t let anyone know it, but I was beaming on the inside. There is one other guy out here with us, a trainee. I worry that he will take exception to me running the show after our lead man leaves. I hope that I am wrong, but I think there is a bit of friction between us. He did not like the way that I did a couple of the operations earlier today, and tried to call me out on it in front of the rest of the rig. No couth. We’ll just have to see how it plays out. I am sure that in the end we will work like a well-oiled machine, and will take care of business like we were born to work together. I was sick the first couple of days out. I didn’t let anyone know it, but I came out here feeling like crap, and I am certain that if anyone checked, I would have had a fever. I think that it was just a 24-48 hour stomach bug, and although I am still recovering my strength and stamina, it was no big deal. Apparently there is something going around the rig…guys are all complaining about getting a cold, being achy, fevers, stomach problems, etc. I just have to try to keep myself healthy. This is also the first time that I have written while out here that I didn’t have a girl back home. LOL, It was on a rig that I found out about SitD. And here I am! :4) Well, I am about beat. Think I am going to rest some more. The schedule has been really hectic…Work 14 hours, sleep 3 hours, work 6 hours, sleep 2 hours, work 2 hours, sleep 14 hours, etc. My body’s clock is wacked. Good night ya’ll. Take care, and God bless. 11-10-05 1510 Things have gotten progressively better on the rig. The job has smoothed out, and he have kinda gotten a schedule going. I am still trying to get used to our 14-18 hour day-cycle. That is about how long it takes us to finish one job, move the rig over a few hundred feet, and do it all again. We are currently on pile 7 of 12...a little over halfway done. I have actually found myself a bit homesick this time out……REALLY unusual for me. I miss my friends, a thought that has never gone through me head while I have been out before. I actually want to be on land…….perhaps this is a part of the revolution that I have been going through lately. Wanting a steady girl, hardly partying at all, kinda watching my friends and their kids, wishing for my own. I dunno…..time to get off of that. I have too long out here to think about that stuff. I am looking forward to getting out of my apartment when I get back in. I will move some of my stuff to a friend’s house for awhile, the rest to storage, and in January, more than likely, I will be moving in with another friend of mine. She should be looking at houses for rent while I am away. It is so nice to have a platonic female friend again. I have totally avoided female friends for the last several months, and I’ve decided that it wasn’t worth the sacrifice. I miss hanging out with the gentler sex. Hopefully we can be friends, roommates, and not let the strain of living together hurt our friendship. I don’t think it will, I’ve had one female roomie before, and it worked out VERY nicely. She had her side of the house, I had mine, and we cohabitated splendidly. Hopefully this will work the same way again. My lead man on the rig has let me know that there has been quite a bit of talk about how well I am handling my new assignment out here. The rig crew and the crew’s supervisors have been very impressed, and my supervisors back on land have apparently heard about how I (and my co-worker) are handling our business. I am really proud to put on my coveralls and walk through the halls, going outside or to the galley. I am so glad to be me! I rock!!! Ya’ll take care, and God bless. 11-13-05 0009 Well, I saw the first tuna that I’ve seen since coming back out here. The other night, I had just finished my duties on the rig for awhile and lust leaned out on the handrail, enjoying the night, the moon, the breeze, and the satisfaction of a job well done. I noticed that there were some random splashes out away from the rig, and they were getting closer. Finally, I saw that the flying fish had gotten themselves herded up by the tuna, and were being pushed through the water, like so many buffalo, as the tuna fed off of them. It was really exciting to watch this life-and-death struggle for survival unfold right before my eyes. I love it out here. I talked to a friend of mine tonight - the girl that I will probably be moving in with in a month or so. She told me that she had some bad news, so I figured that there had been a problem finding a place to call home. She told me that she totaled her vehicle last week, dodging a deer. She wasn’t wearing a seatbelt, and her sunroof was open, and when the vehicle rolled, her head started going out the sunroof, and as the vehicle rolled, her face got really hurt. Plus the injury from wearing a baseball cap and her head hitting the steering wheel. It was such a good feeling though, she told me that she wanted to wait till I got back in to buy another vehicle, because she trusts that I won’t let her get taken, and can help her find something decent. It’s really nice to know that someone thinks that highly of me. Well, I gotta cut this out now, I am about to have to go outside again. I should be home in a couple of days - I can’t wait…..I’ve got a surprise to unfold for someone. Ya’ll take care, and God bless. 11-14-05 0954 Well, I had a pleasant surprise yesterday. I was going home earlier than I’d thought I would. It’s always a good feeling when you are on the helicopter and it lifts off, and you look at the horizon……knowing that you will be back on dry land again in short order. It is always a bad feeling when there is a loud sound that comes from the engine and the chopper loses altitude, and turns around sharply back to the rig. This is the second time that it has happened to me. We landed, and the pilot gets out, and opens the door, points to me and yelled (he had to yell because of the engine noise) for me to get out and get my bags, there was an emergency and I had to stay. I think I almost cried. I got my gear from the chopper storage area, and headed back down to my bunk. On the way there, I ran into my coworker that had stayed behind…..and his bags were packed. He briefly told me that his father-in-law had just passed on, and he had to get to his wife. Great. I’m not trying to get down on the situation. Were I in his shoes, I’d have had to do the same, but I got tossed a ton of paperwork, and the responsibility of the remainder of the job (two or three more days) without warning, and no hand-over notes. UGH! YIKES! *cry* So I got with my company man, got filled in on what the rig operations were, and set about taking care of the things that I knew I needed to take care of. Hopefully we will be finished tonight or tomorrow…..I have a case of Shiner Bock beer and a couple of rib eye steaks waiting on me. By the time I get to leave, it will have been two weeks since I left home. I actually feel pretty good about being out here, and don’t think that there would be a problem if I had to stay longer……Yesterday just sucked because I was looking forward to being on land again, having a beer, a decent meal, and some good-looking company. Had I not already been in-flight, it would not have been nearly so bad. Oh well.

Back at it again!! I took a job with another department at work, due to the lack of work in the department that I had been working in. Now, instead of controlling X-Mas trees, I will be setting wellheads and running tubing hangers. As if that makes ANY sense to ya'll! LOL This department is very short handed, and I will probably be gone A LOT. I leave the day after tomorrow for my first job with them. One of my friends works over there, and he is working on his 6th week offshore in a row right now. He has gotten to sleep in his own bed for one night during this span. Hopefully I will be able to do the same in a month or so. Not only will I be working more, but I will get a bit of a raise in pay......I'm really excited. I will miss all of my off-time, but I need to bust ass for the next year in order to buy the kind of house that I want next fall. I am also moving out of my apartment. It is insane for me to pay the equivilant of a house payment to live in an apartment. A payment on a very nice house. I am going to move everything into a storage unit, and to my buddy's house, and crash there for free for awhile, and more than likely I will move in with another friend of mine in January. She called just a bit ago and told me that with her discount, at her apartment complex, we could get a very large two bedroom, two bath, with a fireplace, and the rent would be just a bit higher than what mine is now....and we are gonna go halves on all the bills and stuff. Hopefully all that will work out good, and things will progress slowly into what I need the situation to be like next year. Well, that's my current life and state of mind. Ya'll take care, and God bless.

What a weekend!!! Friday I was supposed to go to Yoakum to hang out with friends, but I got off of work late, so I stayed home. My best friend called and told me to come over, so I went and we hashed out some work stuff, and he filled me in on his latest love, then we went to workout. I skated 1.5 miles, jogged about 3/4 of a mile, and then did some light weight lifting....damn that felt good! Then we hooked up with his brother and his girl, and some of her friends....damn some of those girls were wild! lol! Had a blast going out with them, and then just hanging out at the house all night, talking, singing, and just enjoying ourselves. Saturday, I went down to meet with my other friend that I skipped out on the night before. I ended up going to Shiner, where the costume party was going to be, to help set-up. We went back to his family's place to get ready, and it totally made my day when his 3 year old daughter opened the door and screamed "It's Gerd!!!!!" and jumped into my arms. Damn, I can't wait to have kids. I dressed up as the morning after guy....the guy that gets trashed at the bar, gets beat-up, arrested, etc. Had blood pouring out of my ears, nose, and mouth, had a tooth blacked out, a black eye, some stitches, and blood all over my shirt. Had my goatee in pigtails, too....THAT was funny! Had a blast at the party.....Lots of mixer games, and plenty of drink. It was also my friends wife's 30'th party. GOOD TIMES!!! When we finally got down to dancing, the DJ turned up the volume and turned down the lights, I asked a couple of girls to dance, and never had to ask again....every female in there couldn't wait for me to spin them around!! Several can't wait for me to come back, so that they can try to hook me up with their friends. Ended up crashing at my buddy's sister-in-law's place, we stayed up for the longest talking about everything under the sun. She's kinda nice, but not my type at all. Took off from there and cleaned up the hall this morning, then went to Flatonia to check out a community gathering there. What fun!! I actually ran into a girl that I had some college classes with, and we sorta had a thing going during class and around town (she didn't live there during college.) But she was there with her now-husband.....that was wierd. But he seems like a good guy. Damn, she was a GREAT kisser. And now she's doing cancer research to get her master's......what a babe! Came back to town tonight, and met a friend of mine. She made dinner, and we had a bottle of wine. Then we went to a haunted house......VERY awesome. It was like a 4-in-1 deal, and one of them was a 3D house....DAMN. Went back to her place, had a few more drinks, and I cleaned her kitchen....much to her chagrin, and called it a night. That's my weekend...how was ya'll's? Take care, and God bless!

That's what I'm feeling now......Back in the saddle again. Kinda like the AC/DC song. I'm back in the saddle again.....Movin' on. For the first time in a long time I went to the bar, and didn't have to fight the urge to get lit up. I realized the other day that the bar needs me, I don't need it. So I went in, shot some pool (and did very well!!) and went home. Just sitting there shooting pool, I realized that I didn't have to do anything to impress girls, they just came to me, and, in retrospect, they always have, but I blew them off.....trying to save a relationship that I was told (by her, but not verbally) wasn't salvageable. It was really cool to just hang out, not get drunk, not having to stop somewhere on the way home, not feel woozy, not get drunk at all, and still have a good time. I just wish I'd have realized it a long time ago, I'd have saved a LOT of $$$$. Anyhow, I was going to Aikido tonight (my martial art,) and there was a mega wreck on one of the highways, and the only way around was through a neighborhood, and it wasn't a nice one, so I just headed back home. On the way back, a newer friend of mine calls, and she was really upset. One of her close friends died today. He was in a car wreck last night, and due to the injuries to his head and neck, didn't last the day. I didn't know what to tell her. All I could say was "I'm sorry." What else can you say??? So we talked for awhile, and she started talking about other things, and so I let her go.....she'll be fine. Really cool story as to how I met her.....She was the photographer's assistant at my sister's wedding this weekend. We hit it off, and she ended up wearing my suit coat during the whole reception to keep warm. It was really funny, most of my family was asking what was going on between us, because we were talking all night, and she was wearing my coat. She turned out to just be a really cool girl. Relly nice, really sweet, and just a nice person to hang out with....I can't wait to go dancing with her again!

So, I did something stupid saturday night, and ended up with a very painful injury. I got my finger tip slammed in a sliding glass door. Don't ask for the circumstances, cause I won't tell. Anyhow, left it packed in ice all night, and the next morning, the pressure was unbelieveable. By the time that I made it back home and tried to rest and relax the pain away, the swelling had caused the skin underneith my fingernail to start to bulge out. So I called a buddy of mine that is really sharp.....a really smart guy, and asked him if he would drill through the nail to help relieve the pressure. I went over to his house for him to look at it, and he immediately grimaced in pain. Said he was surprised that the nail hadn't split due to the pressure that was being exerted on it from the swelling in the tip of my finger. So we packed ice around the finger and let it get numb. While I was waiting for it to get numb, he went and got out his cordless drill, and the smallest bit that he could find. Now picture this: I am standing in my friend's driveway, soaking my hand in ice, listening to my other friend talk smack and try to rattle my nerves, and my friend walks out of his garage with a cordless drill, revving the motor, and giving me this wild-eyed look. I almost ran. So I compose myself for some of the toughest pain I've ever dealt with, kneel down behind my friend's truck, and lay my arm on his tailgate. The other buddy is joking about using a ratchet strap to hold my arm still as I feel the first time the drill bit make contact with my nail. I am trembling with pain and anxiety as he whittles away a tiny hole in my finger, knowing that I'd love my decision in 2-3 days. We had to stop the drilling several times during the course of the operation to resoak my hand in the ice and numb it again, as the drill bit produced quite a bit of heat, and this in turn caused the numbing effect of the ice to go away. Finally we knew that we were almost all of the way through the nail, and I had sunken into a deeper conciousness. A place, a practice, that I reserve for when I am in extreme pain......physically or mentally/emotionally. I had stopped shaking, and opened my eyes, and was talking, taking regular breaths. And suddenly the pain that I had gotten accustomed to, had given a name to, had assigned a taste and color to......suddenly it became satan, exploding through my finger, causing my hand to burst, and my body to almost black out. Blood shot 8 feet into the air, landing on my shoulder and my back, and when I could finally raise my head, there was a steady one inch stream of blood squirting from the top of my finger nail. We were through. Now was time to soak it, get all of that bad blood out, and clean it, making sure that there is no chance for infection. I have gone through 8 dressings on my finger, the first 5-6 were replaced because the blood soaked through. Now though, I am just trying to keep it clean. I have accepted the fact that I will lose my fingernail, and it is in the Lord's hands as to weather the end of my finger gets infected, or if the trauma to it was enough for my body to just quit supplying it, and have it die. If this becomes the case (VERY slim chance,) please send flowers to the hospital, and ladies, the giving of physical favors has been proven to improve recovery time of trauma patients....(hint,hint,hint.) I apoligize for any typos, as I am typing with my left hand, and pecking with my right. I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend, and is in less pain than me! * EDIT * These are pics that I took when I changed the dressing this evening. It is almost back to it's normal size, and the color is coming back. Until now, it has been absolutely black, and swollen to about 200% it's normal size. Ya'll take care, and God bless. Riggy

I've noticed that lately (the last couple of months) I've been losing focus. I have been working too hard to drown my anxieties and frustrations, instead of dealing with them like I usually do. ENOUGH!!!!! I am sick of feeling like I have been lately. I am sick of feeling slow, fat, tired, and worthless. I've had E-FUCKING NUFF!!! I started going to work every day last week (something that only about 1% of the guys that I work with do.) I started taking my lunch with me this week, so that I don't go out with the guys to a restraunt, blow money, and eat way too much. ENOUGH!!! I'm back on my workout program, and although it's slow going, I'm gonna get back to where I was a long time ago.....then I'm gonna get better! I am sorry to all of my friends that want me to post......I've also cut down (in a big way) my online time. I don't watch TV, so I figured that this is where I'm blowing to much time, and I am starting to cut it out. ENOUGH!! I love all ya'll. Please understand. I have to do this for me. Take care, and God bless! Riggy

I had a mega-entry written about the storm and all the preperations and stuff, but my 'puter freaked out and it's all gone now. Maybe I'll try again later. I'm emotionally drained at the moment. Gonna sit in the path of the storm for a few more hours and see where it's going. Ya'll take care and God bless! Riggy

I'm sorry I haven't written much recently, I'll try to do better. Things have just kinda been wierd lately. I am having a hard time getting my thoughts and feelings out in an understandable manner. It isn't very often that I cannot put into concrete words what is happening with my life, but the words are hard to come right now. I have feelings of love, distrust, hatred, pessimissism, hope, joy, its all there, just a few more now than usual. And a few more negative ones that I don't usually have to deal with. It's all good. I'm leaving this evening to stay with a friend in Lafayette and I have to fly out to a rig first thing in the morning....ehhh, I'm glad to get back out, even for just a few days. It'll help clear my head, and cleanse my body and soul. I am really excited about my trip back though. I am going to go stay with a friend of mine from one of my old rigs, that I used to work on. Gonna be VERY cool! He quit the rigs to open his own business, and when I talked to him today he was just crazy busy, and doing very well. I can't wait to see him again, and meet his wife and baby. He and I are planning on breaking out his guitar and my harp an gettin' down. Gonna be good times. Anyhow, I'll update when I get back in....peace out ya'll! Take care, and God bless. Riggy

Anyone here ever bought a house? I need advise and thoughts and all that good stuff. Where to get the loan? What needs inspecting? Can I get it appraised first? I got a couple that I like, but I just don't know enough about howto go about this yet. Help?!?!?! Riggy

9-11-05.…………..1624 Well, I know it’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve written anything. A lot has happened., and I’m not sure where to start. I suppose I’ll start at the points that I feel need to be addressed, and go form there to the mundane stuff that I usually write about. For those that don’t know, Justadream and I are no longer. Right before the holiday weekend, we had a bit of an altercation, and did not speak the entire until the next week…..but I’ll get to that. It kinda started when I came back from my last job. I called her the day after I got in (I came in pretty late at night, and figured she was either sleeping or out with her friends, and I didn’t want to disturb either situation,) and let her know that I came home early, and wanted to know if she wanted to come up and stay with me for the holiday weekend. She informed me that she had already made plans with one of her guy friends to go out to his place and stay with him and some of his buddies that weekend. This kinda hurt my feelings, but such is life. I came home earlier than expected. One of my friends came in from the Air Force, on leave, and came up to stay with me instead, and we went out A LOT. During the weekend, She and I messaged back and forth a bit, but it seemed to me that her messages were kinda aimed at making me jealous. Now, I realize you can’t really read emotion into a text message on a cell phone, but that was just how it came across. She was letting me know about what all they were doing, and how fun it was, etc. When I let her know that I was having a ball, going to parties, and a couple of after-parties, she seemed to get a little upset, and that kinda bothered me because she was out doing the same, except she was out partying it up on a ranch with a guy that she had been friends with for a couple of months, and his friends. Now mind you, nothing was directly said about what our individual feelings were and perhaps I read too much into it, but that I what I got out of it. Now, what was really frustrating about this situation was that I have been living in the big city for almost 6 months now. When I left, she said she would come up whenever she possibly could…..and went so far as to look up the price of plane tickets to fly to the airport that is hardly 10 miles from my home. So far she’d come up to see me once…..for a week mind you….but only once. She always had other things planned, or was broke, or he mom didn’t want her to go, there was always an excuse, and the one time that she did come stay with me, the original plan was not for her to me with me that week. She took off that week to go with her family to see her brother’s new school, then her and her mom got into a fight and her mom explained that perhaps the best thing was for her to just not go on the trip. So instead, I drove down to pick her up and drop her off at the end of it. Now, far be it from me to look a gift-horse in the mouth. I truly enjoyed that week with her, and was kinda using it as a litmus test to see how things would be if she ever moved up, as she said she was wanting to. But that is all beside my main point, what it boils down to is that she said she would take every opportunity to come see me, and, IT SEEMS, worked to find reasons to not. Me, on the other hand……Most weekends I would find myself (even after we were not really ‘together’) driving down to go see her (about a 250 mi. round-trip.) That was A LOT of gas money spent and A LOT of going-out money spent to make things happen, and try to be with the girl that I really liked. Problem was, it was just never reciprocated……in any form. Anyway, at the end of the weekend, we hadn’t texted each other in a day and a half she called to make sure that I was all right. I was fine. I just felt no reason to text or talk to her. She had a new friend(s), and what was the point in me spending my resources on someone that, to this point, had pretty much just been a leach on them for the last 6 months. She promptly got off of the phone and as soon as I sat back down at my computer, she messaged me that she didn’t mean to bother me. We sent a couple of messages back and forth, and I ended up calling her. It was time. I called and explained that she needed to forget my phone number, forget my user names, and forget that I ever existed. I really, honestly felt that she had been using me for emotional, mental, and moral support, and you know, I just wasn’t getting the same out of the deal. She kinda got mad at me, saying that she wasn’t going to call me again anyway, and I told her that I was happy for it because I deserved someone one better than her. I deserved someone that would at least be honest and open, and giving. I have caught her in 3-4 lies in the last couple of months, one of witch involved her relationships with other men, and I truly believe that I deserve someone better than her, the woman that had done this to me. Besides the fact that she just wasn’t really there for me when I needed it, when I was down and depressed and alone in a new city with no friends and no one to turn to…..she let me hurt, she wasn’t there for me. So I explained that we should never have communications again, and we got off of the phone. Now, I was recently informed from some friends who I will not mention that she had some choice words for me in her diary, but that I could not read them because I was no longer on her ‘friends’ list. HOW CHILDISH!! Not only did we agree when I started my diary that we would not use names or specific towns and locations (which she was doing,) but we also agreed to never use this format to air out our dirty laundry, if you will. We said we’d never speak down about one another in an open format. Again, what I was told may have been hearsay, but I got the information from more than a few sources (I have not gone , and will not go to look for myself) that not only was she trash-talking me, but she had formatted her diary so that I may not view it. LAAAAA-AAAAME! So I figure that I may as well use this format to let my thought out into the electronic abyss, regardless of what she thinks, feels, or how much this pours salt into any wound……hers or mine. Heaven knows I have been burned by her enough times that I should expect it by now. I have made all of the private entries that had anything to do with her public. I had kept them private to keep from hurting her feelings while we were dating, to keep from causing problems with our relationship. Perhaps someone can take somethign away from what I wrote in anger. I hope you can, anyhow. So it is done. I would not doubt that by now, she has entered another relationship, is seeing someone, or is just sleeping around. No one has told me that she is, but that has been her M.O. since she started dating. Fall quick, fall deep, take it as far as you can as fast as you can, and ALWAYS get under the next one to get over the last one. What a stupid girl. I do not wish to speak to her any time soon, and possibly not at all. Ever. Perhaps in the times to come, if she can grow into an able-bodied, self-sufficient, self-sustaining adult, with less baggage, more self-esteem, and a better faith in the Lord, we can talk things out, become friends again, and maybe even be in a relationship again. But not for now. I have higher standards than to be with what she has shown herself to be. I tried to love that girl with everything I had, worked harder at that relationship than I ever have, and it seemed that every time I came out on the losing end with her. We could never be ‘as one’ we could never walk side-by-side, and if I cannot have that, then I do not need a relationship with another human. My faith in God, my faith in myself, and my faith that there are good, decent, loving people out there will carry me through.

My ONE Entry! 8-31-05.………..2335 What a day!! With the exception of a couple of 30 minute or hour long catnaps, I have been awake since 0800 yesterday, the 30th. That’s about 40 hours so far. Think I’ll stay up for a couple more before I give in. Ya’ll know that I was about to leave when I typed my last entry. Well, things weren’t good as far as finding a hotel in La. (go figure!) so I ended up getting an hour long nap yesterday afternoon before the phone woke me, and I gave up, not being able to go back to sleep. I went to my usual Tuesday night hangout, frustrated, and had a couple of beers and a nice dinner. I really needed that, and the time with friends. Loaded up one of my co-workers and took off for south Louisiana shortly before midnight. I hate that drive, staying up all night and driving and then having to be up all day working. Well, we got to the heliport for our 0600 check-in, and took another nap in the truck. We were awakened by the rest of the crew, and had to muster up at the pad. That’s where we got the news. There would be no helicopter flight. We were riding a boat. UGH!!!!! So at 0900 we boarded the boat, and waited another hour for the rest of the crew to make it. Finally got what we thought to be everyone aboard and we still didn’t go anywhere. We were still missing 3 guys……essential personal. So a couple hours later they show. By this tiem it is 1100, and everyone is starving, as most of us hadn’t eaten since dinner the day before. So we took up a collection for pizza. Ended getting about 120.00 in the pot, called it in, and sent a guy for it. An hour went by…..Another hour went by. Called the guy, and the pizza shop won’t have it ready for another hour or so. So we cancelled the order and told him to go somewhere else. An hour later he shows with fried chicken. I HATE chicken, for the most part. So I forced down a couple of pieces and a few cookies…..not nearly worth the 10 mucks I tossed in the pot. ERR! Anyhow, we finally got moving and an hour later we were through the canal system, and almost to open water. Another 7 hours, right at sunset, we got to the rig. Surprisingly, it has not sustained much damage. We get organized, get something dead in out trembling tummies (the boat ride, although not bad, was pretty rough.) Got orientated to the rig, and got to work. Got all of our systems tested, and started cleaning and greasing our equipment. Thanks to some awesome teamwork - something that I have come to expect from the crews that I have worked with - we were done in a very timely manner. Got in, got showered, and was gonna eat until I realized that chicken was being served tonight. UGH! So I’m here in bed, killing time, and wishing I was being more productive. ALSO!! I think I need to write a little about the situation in New Orleans. That is all that is in the news, and I am kinda aggravated by it. My mom and I got into an argument about this this morning, but I stand my my conviction. If there are people stuck in N.O., and this is NOT a universal statement, but for the most part, you asked for it. I am sorry if I offended anyone with my statements here, but this is how I feel. The average person can walk an average of 15-20 miles in a day, under decent to hard conditions……That has been my experience. Anyhow, these folks knew for 5 days that a strengthening storm was headed their way, and they stayed in a city (AKA Sin City…..Home of Voodoo,) that is shaped like a bowl, that sits below sea level, that the government has been saying for years that a major storm would swamp. How stupid can you get. Kinda like the story about the guy that was stuck on his roof with rising flood waters….first a man came along in a canoe trying to save him, but he refused help, saying the Lord would save him, then a man came in a boat to save him, and again he refused, saying that the Lord would save him, an then a helicopter came and tried to reach him, and again he refused help, saying that the Lord would spare him. The waters rose, washed him away and he was drowned. When he arrived at the gates of Heaven, he asked the Lord why he was not spared…..The Lord replied that he first sent a canoe, then a boat, then a helicopter, and he refused all the help the Lord sent him. Morale of the story…..the Lord will help those that help themselves. These people refused to help themselves, did not pull together and take their friends, family, and neighbors away, out of the city with them. They waited with their hands outstretched. Now they will get their just desserts. Again, I don’t believe that this covers 100% of the people there, but for many, there were other avenues for them to escape, had they the drive and determination to step up and take care of themselves, but they did not. They waited for what was given to them, and this is what they have now. I do feel sorry for all those folks, please don’t get me wrong, but I think they are partly to blame for their situation. Anyhow. I’ll try to get a photo bucket account going when I get home, and share some of the pictures that I’m taking. I miss ya’ll. Please sleep well, say your prayers, take care, and God bless. Riggy.

Hey ya'll, I just got the call, Gotta be in La. for a 6a.m. flight tomorrow morning. Sorry its short notice.....It was for me, too! I'll write if I can, or I'll do like before, and cut and paste. Ya'll take care, and God Bless!

Well, I know that I haven't been writing as much as usual. Just haven't felt like sitting down and writing. I think that I am just kinda been burned out lately. I miss being on the rig. Hurricane Katrina has shut operations down in the Gulf of Mexico (GOM) for awhile. The Ukraine trip is canceled until next spring. There was one part that we need to install that isn't going to be ready until mid-September, and it won't arrive on location until the end of the month. Kinda frustrated with that, but it's allright. I know that I'll be going next spring, so I still have something to look foreward to. I think that I want to go on a cruise. At least it'll get me back on the water. Maybe a chartered fishing trip. That'd be nice, just a couple of days on the water with a couple coolers of drinks and some close friends. Good times. I think that I need to get used to the idea of being single. The one girl that I was still kinda interested in is showing no signs of slowing down, and she, I think, just lives a kind of life that I don't want to. When it was just her and I, things were fine. But throw in some distance and some friends, and neither one of us is happy with the situation. So, starting last weekend, I have devoted my life to me. I got a set of inline skates and have started using them......getting pretty good at it too!! Started figuring out how to use them in the paring lot at the apartment complex - at night....when everyone was asleep....when no one could see me make a fool of myself. Then I went to the park once, and followed the walking trail there....dang! That's a good workout! I really enjoy it, but I need to take it easy until my legs are used to it. The muscles in the front of my shins really get worked hard, and they were sore for quite awhile. I hope to really knock off some body fat. Everyone tells me that I'm not fat, I'm just a big big guy, but I am starting to feel like my weight is keeping me down. I weighed in at 250 a couple of weeks ago at the heliport, and eventhough I'm as strong as an ox, I want to get a little lighter on my feet....hence the inlines. And with as much muscle as I have packed on, if I start dropping weight from cardio and continue lifting as much as I have, well, maybe I'll be the next Arnold.......LOL! Okay, sorry, that was overstatement of the year. Anyhow, such is my life at this time. Maybe I'll find a little hottie working out at the park. Been getting my house together, too. I ordered a Confederate battle flag, a Texas flag, and a U.S. flag, and I got them hung up today. I think this afternoon I'm gonna go looking for an old china safe or freestanding cabinet set to use as a liquor cabinet. If I can get all of my liquor put in one place, that would free up A LOT of space for me. Ideas, anyone? Maybe I should just drink it all....can I get some assistance, please? LOL Okay, I'm gonna rotate laundry, and go skating. Ya'll take care, and God bless Riggy

Well, I've been back on land for a few days now. Kinda recooping from my trip to the Gulf. Boss said to keep my bags packed, cause I was probably gonna go back out shortly. So the bags are packed, and I'm ready to go. The last night out, there were about 30 dolphins on the south side of the rig. It was fun to watch them chase and eat flying fish and to play together. Neat stuff. Everything that could go wrong did, it seemed. But that was okay.....I get paid by the day. And that's pretty cool in and of itself. Until I found out what my company was charging to have me out there....DAMN! Us service guys totally make them a ton of money! LOL! Anyhow, all is good now. I've got a few days off, and I have plans with various friends. It'll be nice to just cut loose for a bit. Sorry this is so short, but I'm tired.....catch ya'll later. Take care, and God bless!

8-15-05 So I’ve been hanging out on the rig since Wednesday morning, the 10th. We have phones, but there is no one to call. No internet…..ugh. I’m really loving it!!! LOL!! So I’ve decided to just start writing in my word processor whenever I get a chance, and then when I hit land, I’ll cut and paste it to my diary. So here it goes!! Got the call Tuesday morning to head out, hence my last entry. Hauled ass to south Louisiana, and got a motel room there. Bad things happened that night. I lost not only a friend, but a lover. My best friend. I think it was bound to happen, and I’ve been prolonging the agony. I finally got mad and hurt enough to just say that I was sorry, and that I felt that it was time for me to move on. This has been very hard for me to swallow. I am so glad that I’m on the rig now……it helps me deal with things, and I have a hell of a support group in the group of guys that I work with. I have, in my opinion, the best bunch of guys to work with. Smart, sharp, willing to teach, and help me get rolling with the system here. I feel so very fortunate to be among so many great and diverse minds, and not only that, but friendly to boot!! The first couple of days sucked pretty bad, getting used to how things worked, being a third party hand. Got our equipment lined out, and figured out that I don’t have to work all the time. That has taken some getting used to. When there is nothing to do, there is nothing to do. Just sit in our office, listen to music on the laptops (everyone brings 1-2 laptops,) reading magazines (Men’s Health, Maxim, Stuff, FHM, etc.,) bullshitting, napping, and something I really was not expecting…..porn. Lots and lots and lots of porn. LOL! I get such a kick out of these guys when a new flick comes on that someone brings out on their ’puter that they haven’t seen. Circling the offending computer like a pack of buzzards. Especially the guys that have been out here for 20+ days. They get excited at first, then, leave the office frustrated that they are still stuck out here with a bunch of guys. I tell ya what, if a particularly lonely gal wandered out here, she’d not be lonely any longer! All jokes aside, it is nice to be able to relax and not stress and bust ass all of the time. And to be surrounded with like minds. Intelligent people, mechanically inclined, but diverse enough in life to carry on a conversation about anything. I actually talked about different ways to prepare sushi with one of the guys a couple of days ago. He learned different techniques while in Japan with the military. I work with a bunch of ex-military guys. One guy was one of the top tank gunners in the nation for 3 years running. I respect them all for different reasons. One because he is an actual engineer, when there is a bad problem with the equipment, he is the one to turn to. REALLY smart guy. One is pretty much my mentor. He has answered all the questions that I’ve had, and privately told me that expects me to be his night hand in the future, should I not decided on a career overseas. A couple of guys have extensive military histories, and the stories just keep on coming. The kinds of stories that I hope to have someday, about far away and exotic places that most folks just read about, or hear about on T.V. Even the guys from other companies that hang out with us are just super. Any time I have been working really hard, they come by and volunteer to fill in for me so that I may walk about and stretch my legs, go to eat, get a drink, or whathaveyou. And just about everyone is ready to share their wealth of knowledge. Most of the guys respect me for where I come from. I tell them stories of working as a roughneck, busting ass on the drill floor, a place where most of these guys are afraid to go, as they have been taught that it is a very dangerous place to be (and rightly so!) They listen in wonderment as I talk about rough necking, working up in the derrick, hanging off of the monkey board……even asking technical questions about how a rig is made, set-up, and what different functions particular pieces of equipment serve. It’s such a good feeling to be able to explain in detail how things out here work to guys that are not only my senior in the company, but, in my opinion, are my intellectual superior. Well, things have not gone as planned. What should have been a 7 day job has turned into a 14-20 day job. And if things continue to go as they have, longer than that. Initially, things got off to a rough start on the company’s end, not taking care of the paperwork that they had to do. That killed almost a day. And then when they were running anchors, an anchor cable that is 4” in diameter got twisted like a bread tie. Bad, bad, BAD deal. It has been almost a week now, and they are finally getting to the point that they are getting it fixed, but they are having to replace like three miles of this cable…….yeah, I said three MILES. Then the equipment that we were sent here to work on did not operate properly. So we are having to kinda re-write the rules and change our standard procedure and get it done another way, but so far, we’ve had to add like 6 days to the job. UGH! Although I’m not complaining, it is how I get paid! LOL! So far, I’m on day 6 away from home, but it has been really easy, not having to do back breaking work all the time, having really good friends, not having a girl back on the beach that I talk to and miss all the time. I should probably call mom and dad, but I just really don’t feel like thinking about land now. I’m finally back to the place where I feel at home. On a rig. Where my blood came from, and God willing, where my blood will go after I am gone. Hopefully where my children will learn that it truly does pay to work hard, be honest, have good morals, and be fair in all their dealings. I will admit that I miss all of my friends here on SitD. I miss keeping up with ya’ll, living vicariously through ya’ll, and chatting with ya’ll on the net. As ya’ll know, when I go to Ukraine (hopefully this year!!) I will not have net access for quite some time…..that’s gonna suck! Anyhow, I’ve all but quit smoking….something that I did not think I could do on the rig. I’m just fed up with it. The nasty rooms, the disgusting taste, the way my body feels after I burn one……sick of it! I have smoked 1-2 cigarettes a day for the last few days, and am contemplating just not going into the smokeshack with the guys after dinner anymore. That is hard to do. That’s the time that we all get together, bullshit, chill out, tell funny stories, and reminisce about bygone good times spent with other crewmembers. But I don’t NEED all that stuff. It’s nice, but not necessary. I’ll definitely miss it, but not so much that I cannot bear it. Well, it’s after 3a.m., I need to shut it down for the night…gotta get up at 11 to make it to the safety meeting. Goodnight, and God bless. 8-16-05.……0228 What a day!!! Probably the hardest working day that I’ve had so far out here. Yeah, it was pretty easy. I just stayed up too late last night typing my entry. Ehhh, no biggie. Finally got past our problems of the last couple of days, and if all goes well, I’ll be home in about a week. Today is the first time I’ve really started to miss home. Kinda strange for me, especially since I really have no one to come home to. I think that I may just go out on friendly dates with some female friends of mine. That’s not my usual style, but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense - to hang out with people that I already like to talk to and hang out with. I don’t have any friends that I can see getting into a long term thing with, but it’d just be nice to go out on a simple date again. No having to drive halfway across the world to pick up someone and drive back the other way for hours and then have to make another round trip. It’s just not worth it. Not that I will put a price on love……love is not only expensive, it is definitely priceless; but I really don’t think that it is wrong for me to want someone that is self-sufficient, self-supporting, and who is mentally and emotionally stable…….is it? Anyhow, back at the ranch, I am currently homesick, and although I probably won’t be tomorrow, and for this reason, I pray that sleep comes hard and fast tonight. I pray that tomorrow I will wake to a sun bringing warmth and the hopes and dreams of a new day. I pray that I will once again forget about land and the past couple of hellish weeks, and be able to see a bright future. I pray that that phone will ring and my boss will say that the chopper is coming for me, to get my bags packed for Ukraine. I pray that my mind will not wander. I pray that I will stay focused and devoted to myself, that I will look out for number one, and that my love of the Lord will carry my through another day in this paradise that I live in. I pray that you all have a wonderful day, and that the Lord will bless you with the gifts that will carry you through many happy years of love-filled life. Good night, and God bless. 8-17-05.………..0203 Oh what a day! Started off bad with some equipment that I was running causing a problem due to lack of communication. Just luckier than shit that no one (namely me!) was hurt or killed. It wouldn’t have taken much, just got really lucky that everyone reacted correctly and quickly. After that everything went smooth and slow. My lead has begun to put a lot of faith and trust in my work….in my opinion, more than he puts in some of the other guy’s work. Don’t want to talk down about anyone, but I’ve been told that I am doing really good, picking up this stuff, and even though the equipment that we have on this job is really simple, the problems that I have helped overcome have really made me stand out. I’m starting to get labeled as an over achiever. When the problem occurred today, about all I could say for myself was that I was doing my job, and it was not my problem that the communication lines broke down, and that if I’d have been doing nothing, like some of the other guys were doing, well, nothing would have been getting done. The only downside to this is that I feel like I am causing some tension…..messing up the pecking order. Kinda displacing egos. Egos that aren’t used to being displaced. There is one guy that works the other shift that I really feel like he’s holding a grudge, feeling like I’m trying to overshadow him. It’s not that I want anyone to look bad, it is that I want to do the best that I possibly can, and if you aren’t going to do your best, or if your best isn’t as good as mine, well, sorry. I am not going to slow down my learning process or slack in my work ethic because you don’t want to bust ass. I have a job. I don’t just want to keep it, I want to move up, to make a name for myself, and to impress those around me, to let them know I’m not just a leech, sucking up a paycheck, sitting on my hands. My lead hand got word today that he would be going home in about 36 hours. I’m glad to hear that, he’s been out here for like 33 days now, and he’s really burned out, missing home, missing his wife and family and stuff. I wish I had someone or something to miss. The homesickness that I was feeling yesterday is now gone, and I feel like I am again ready to go forever. When my lead goes in in a couple of days, the tech that is coming out is my best friend at home. The guy is a friggin genus. I am so excited about getting to work with him, learn from him, take what he would give to anyone, the ability to do this job, and do it to a T. I am so very fortunate to be blessed with being surrounded by so many great guys. I have worked with other guys here, and although they knew their business, it just was like they were there to follow what the book said, and if things got hairy, well, then they’d freak. Not really freak, but just kinda ehhhh, whatever. My understanding is that I will probably be going home in 3-4 days. I hope that I get assigned to meet the equipment at the dock for loading onto a truck back to Houston. That’d be another day or so away from home, and another day or so of pay. YEAH!!! I find it totally amazing - the things we are doing. Working on oil and gas wells that over a mile under us. Damn near 6500 feet under the water’s surface. The particular field that I am in now is this particular oil company’s pride and joy. There and more than a couple of wells here that, since their inception, have made slightly over a million dollars of profit A DAY. And several of these wells have been here for almost 10 years. You do the math. I was informed the other day that one of the platforms on the horizon is the BP Thunderhorse PDQ platform. The one that made all the news after the latest hurricane in the gulf, listing to 25 degrees before they were able to begin to get it upright again. That thing is HUGE! It is approximately five times the size of the rig that I am currently on. And this is a big rig. Saw two of my favorite offshore sights today. First off, the sunset was AWESOME. Beautiful reds, yellows and oranges, reflecting off of the water, like sun on the horizon of the greatest desert in the universe. Second was the moon. I love how a full, or almost full moon will be at about 45 degrees above the horizon, and is so bright, and the night is so clear that the light of the moon reflects off of the water. I thought it could only be done in movies, or at perfect angles, until I came offshore, then I realized what beauty the Lord has set here for us to enjoy. We are so blessed, and so many people take it for granted. Well, there are a couple of solitare games waiting for me, and then shower, work out and bed. Tomorrow will be a busy day. Goodnight ya’ll. I love you. 8-17-05.………..1753 Currently working at our latest, favorite past time……waiting. I sweated for about 30 minutes today, out on deck, getting things ready to go. Been ready for things to get started for about four hours now. I’ve been reading magazines and playing music and chilling out all day. I can’t believe that they pay me what they do for doing this. I was talking to one of the guys today and it dawned on me that last year I was on the verge of going to Iraq to work for Brown and Root, and sitting here today I realized that if I’d have done that, I wouldn’t be getting near the compensation that I get now, and I’d be stuck in the middle of nowhere (as I am now) with no a/c (that I have now) and no ready source of adult beverages and adult entertainment (as I have now, most of the time.) I am SO glad that it didn’t work out!! LOL! 20/20 hindsight, right? I was also thinking today about my ex. She should have started her new job this week. I sure hope that works out for her. I still think that she is limiting herself….not pushing her envelope, but it is certainly better than the go-nowhere job that she’s had. Maybe this is the springboard that she needs to get started in life, in making a better life for herself, in coming around, full circle and becoming a grown woman that she has the capability of becoming. I hope she does well. Occasionally I want to call her, to see how she is doing…..this is the longest time that we’ve spent and not talked or chatted in six months. Such is life. I need to move on, and hanging around will not just hurt me, it would hurt her too. Of course, if she wants to talk, she has my number, and I will not blow her off or anything……I will remain that awesome guy that she and everyone else knows and loves. 8-19-05.………………1704 Well, another day of watching and waiting. We have been latched on to the well for a few days now, and are trying to get it plugged and away from it. We should have been pulling out by now. I really don’t mind being out here longer, but I want everything to work, and when it doesn’t, it gets frustrating for everybody. We had an injury on the rig yesterday. Shortly before I came on tower, a worker got his hand caught inbetween a suspended load of pipe and a load of pipe on the ground. That doesn’t sound too bad until you figure that the suspended pipe was 5.5” diameter, and weighed 30 pounds per foot, and the pipe on the ground was 8” diameter, and weighed 250 pounds per foot. Yeah, his hand got hurt pretty bad. Not sure if it got broken, but it peeled the skin off, and it was about twice its normal size. Kinda weird, to think that I used to do his job, and put myself in a position to do that all the time….so much so that I didn’t even see the danger in it anymore. Kinda funny, the longer I am out here, the more and more comfortable I get with everything. This is a bad thing. As you get like that, then you start to lose respect for the iron that is constantly swinging around here, over our heads, what have you. Makes you more and more susceptible to getting hurt or killed out here. Kinda a spooky thought, that they keep body bags onboard. And the possibility is very real that as I stay out here longer and longer, that I will at some point in time have to carry a friend or coworker off of this floating piece of junk iron, and hopefully he will be allright. I have had several friends sustain minor injuries out here…….but a debilitating accident is always just around the corner. Like the problem that we had with communication the other day…..that could have been catastrophic. Thank heavens that what happened was all that happened. We got word today that we will probably be going home either Sunday or Monday. I am personally hoping for Monday, although if the rest of the crew knew that, they’d lynch me. Except for a few, everyone out here has been out for 21+ days, and most of them have families. I think that shortly we are going to go balls to the wall, and be gone A LOT. I personally am shooting for some overseas work, but things will be pretty busy here in the Gulf of Mexico, also. One of my buddies that I work with out here, he’s a really cool guy, I had to laugh at him today. He was joking about fixing me up with his sister-in-law the other day. He also quickly nixed the idea, saying that she liked to party too much and too hard, and that I probably wouldn’t like her. I really didn’t give it any thought…….just noted that he had a sister in law that liked to party hard. Well, today we were talking about stuff back home (he is originally from around my hometown,) and we got to talking about going bowling, and going to the different bars around there, and karaoking and stuff. I laughed and said that he was speaking my language, bowling and singing and drinking a little bit. He immediately started laughing and said that maybe his sister-in-law and I would get along after all. LOL, I guess you just had to be there….It was hilarious. Well, I am fixing to have to go back outside and monitor the well some more. Ya’ll have a good one, and God bless.