So things are kinda I dunno right now. I made a vow when I started this diary to be as positive as I could and to not bash anyone in it, and to be an uplifting force. So, yeah, I haven't been saying much lately. To be completely honest, right now it seems the only thing that I have going good for me is my job. But that is going REALLY good. Although I am not back on the rigs yet, I am geting closer by the day, and I am making new friends and contacts at work, and I continue to impress those that are importaint in my field. I hope that this lasts. I honestly love what I do, and I think that I have the potential to be great. To all of my friends on SitD: I am sorry for not posting lately. I don't think that I can be as positive right now as I usually am, and I don't want to spread the bad feelings that are coursing through my veins at this moment. I hope that ya'll understand and bear with me, I am trying to get back to my normal, wonderful, happy self. Well, all that being said, I feel like I've gotten a lot out, but I know that there is a lot left. I'm not sure what I am going to do with it. I want to lose control really bad, to go nuts for a week or two, to work it out of my system.....through all of the frustrations that I've had lately, I've still been in complete control, I haven't done anything differently, I haven't shown my emotions, I have remained like a rock, unmoving, and ungiving. I want so bad to be like a normal guy, and do what a normal guy does to work out his feelings when he feels this way. But that would be wrong. Not only would I be hurting another person, another soul; I would be hurting......lying, to myself. So I will continue to do what I've always done....let the feelings run their course, embrace the pain, become friends with it again, and try to understand it, because if you do not understand your pain, you will also fear it. We should never be afraid. Your life should read like your own little adventure story after you die. Perhaps you didn't save people from burning buildings, or crush tyranny in the world, but it should be filled with your own little victories. Things that you did that were a risk to you. Either physically, mentally, financially, whatever. Take a chance. When you die, do you want people to say "Yeah, 'ole rigrat, man, he didn't do SHIT. That was the laziest SOB that ever walked the face of the earth, did just enough to get by, glad he's gone......he was really a waste of oxygen....and food!" That's not how I want to be remembered. Perhaps I'll never be hugly wealthy, maybe I'll never be an example to the human race, but when the Lord calls, I want to be able to say I did something, that I, in my own little way, touched the world. I took the risk, I faced the dangers - no matter how little - and I made it happen. REMEMBER!!!!! When you were born, you cried, and the world rejoyced. Live your life so that when you die, the world will be in tears, and you will rejoyce. Ya'll take care, and God bless.