Well, Friday I went down to my hometown to visit with my folks, thinking that I'd be headed to Ukraine this coming week. As soon as I got into town, the office paged me. I called back and was informed that I would be needed in the Gulf of Mexico very soon, and to check in first thing Monday morning. Turns out that Ukraine got pushed back to the end of the month, and another project that I was working on got kinda stepped up. So I have been up all night getting my gear ready to go. It's all done except putting it in a bag. No biggie. Stress is high, as you can tell from my previous entry. I am excited, scared, nervous, and exhausted from all the emotions and adrenaline. Visited my ex back home and I think we got some things straightened out, although we are not going to get back together anytime soon.......the wounds are too fresh and it still hurts too much to think about everything that has gone down between us. She went out tonight with an old friend of hers, and she said that she'd call when she got in......it's after midnight, and she still hasn't called.....damn......I know I shouldn't care about it, but I cannot help it. I have been so in love with that girl. I really think that it is definately time for me to go to work. Go out to the Gulf for a few weeks, and have a 1- or 2-day turnaround, and fly out to Ukraine. No time to think, no time to worry, no phone calls. For a couple of months. Time for me to settle back down and get back to the business of taking care of me.....I've been worried about someone else too long, and it was unhealthy, they didn't deserve so much of my time and energy. Time for me to buckle down, make some money again, and start over again. I hate this feeling, staring over. But in a day or so I will again be at 110%. I know it. That's why I'm not trying to run from the feeling, or the emotions. I'll be allright.....I'll be better than allright. I'll be awesome. I've decided that it's just not in the cards for me to be skinny, so instead of trying to lose weight, through running, diet, etc., I have decided to go back to my old routine of building muscle. Lots of it. The more muscle you have, the more calories you burn. I'm about to get huge...look out. This entry has just been all over the place.....hope ya'll kept up! Take care, and God bless. Riggy