Everyone seems to be looking back on the past year. So I guess I will as well. I thought 2004 was alright. Despite everything that happened in the later of the year. But thats just me. Nothing I saw will be in order, since I'm just going off the top of my head and such. I think... in January (or for second semester of grade 9) of last year.. I was really upset. I'm much more happy this year. Last year I felt as if I was secluding myself. I was drifting away from people around me and my friends consisted of Tes and Crystal. I don't really regret anything. Not then anyway, not yet. All the stuff I sort of regret happened later. Actually, I regret not doing well in English Class. That was a dissapointment. I was on the verge of breaking down, and eventually I did. I think... it was in May... or June I did. Just broke down and told my parents everything that was going on. How I felt neglected by my 'friends' (who still consisted of Crystal and Tes) and how I really wanted Leanna back but she was so happy with her relationship with Behm that there seemed no time for me. How I was dissapointed with my grades and how it was effecting me at home and how my home-life was effecting my school-life. I think thats when things started improving, after school finished. I went to summer-school for english and I had a good time, depsite everything. I went to Sudbury and was strangly dissapointed with my younger cousin's appearance. I kept wondering if I were like that when I was 11. God I hope not. When school started again, I think I saw it as a chance to get everyone back together but it didn't quite work. I can't exactly remember my feelings on the subject but I do remember I felt kind of torn. I was still hanging out with tes and Crystal, joined by Cassie and later on Nikki. (Or was I? I can't remember if that was before school ended or after it started.) Oh yeah, I almost forgot. That summer... Jessica. We had great fun. I guess it was because we had so much yet so little in common, although our exuberant and extroverted nature are the same. She never really showed me her deep self though, I guess. I'm... I dunno. We had fun. Thats another thing I realized this past year. How deep I actually am. I know it might sound conceited but... meh. I'm mature... although I guess I don't seem like that. Nobody sees my serious side. But I have a world of thoughts and feelings and actions that no one ever really sees. I don't think anyone wants to. Anyway, I guess I started hanging around with Leanna a little more,a dn eventually Nikki and then Krista and Kirtsin and Laura came into the picture. Even thought they arn't close friends, like, 'I tell you everything friends' they still are my friends. I guess I don't feel so weird around them. But I did get close to Nik and Leanna and Cavell, I guess thats what counts. In October I took up Gackt and J-pop and my grades haven't gone down (much) and I'm happy. Then November hit. That two weeks, starting on November 15th (I'll never forget that day) was just shit. Pure shit. Finding out about Cassie, then about my moms friend and then Cassie's house was just horrid. December... things were looking up. We got the money rom the house and things slwoly changed around the house, although there was much more grief concerning money. But it was good. Over the year, me and my family and my friends (the important ones) got close. Even though I'm not, well, I dunno. Before, I was really social, even outside of school. I'm still... I dunno. Secluded. I section myself off and don't do anything much on weekends and nothing on weekdays. It's been that way for a while now. But, it is good, and I can't see myself getting much happier. I feel strangly normal yet not you know? Oh well. My reflection is done. Merry 2005.