last night was fun. i went and hung out with madison and her friends. wich was wonderful i was soooooo glad that i got to see her. later i called tom cause they wanted to smoke. so he came over wit some alcohol, we went got bud and stuff. then we went to this show at the livery downtown. that was alright. im just glad i got to be with madison. even though she started crying which like, made me really sad. cause i didnt really understand why. by the end of the night i did the irregular family drugs: S,W,A,C,: Somas Weed Alcohol Cocaine damn. another night Today on the other hand was hella shitty. i told madison that i did koke last night and i guess i told her that i wouldnt any longer. so that made her all dissapointed in me. which made me feel like absolute shit. she says i cant live without drugs, its pathetic. i guess shes right. i mean what can i say to defend myself? nothing, i am pathetic. so she was mad at me all day. it was just depressing. i mean i dissapoint everyone as it is. now i dissapoint her too. i dont know when im gonna snap. work sucked. fucking mondays are always hard. i dont even bother with my family anymore. they really dont like, me. they havent, but im trying so hard to not let it affect me. but they always do. I love you