fuck. ok so last night i went to practice, where i broke a stem. i felt so bad. n tom was giving me shit all practice. after practice i was supposed to go to ventura to meet madison, but no one would take me. i finnaly talked tom into it when he was taking me home. i could tell he didnt want to. so i get to the game and i saw her. made me happy. i dont think it made her happy though. i wish there was more i could do. i wish she'd tell her parents to go fuck themselves. thats what id do but whatever. she almost seemed sad to see me there. making last night such a shitty night. then after all that i had to walk home. fuck.