something must change. something good. im tired of all of these awkward transitions into places where the sun doesnt shine. yes, change is occuring but not how i like it. its hard to say that things have gotten better when its evident that things have gotten much worse; things have been stretched and skewed too far out of proportion to get them back to normal size--i try and try harder to fix it, but images are now rendered blurry. what to do what to do? . barricade myself inside, hibernate to secure talents wont be lost, its time to get to work. no more fun this time of year; im good but i could be better. i look but i could look more. i wish i was that type of girl...the kind that pretty boys who intoxicate themselves with too many chemicals to count talk about when shes not there. the kind that they scheme and plan about. "i bet you i could fuck her before the week is over" "nuh uh, shes too hot" i wish i was pretty enough to be taken advantage of. alas. je finis.