i think i just might be the worlds greatest faker. yesterday, i kind of didnt feel too good, but today i feel fine and full of pep. this morning i put on a full play, "cough cough, my throat hurts mommy waaaa please dont make me goooooo..." so she didnt. and here i am. alone again. tomorrow its going to be weird going back to school. having to see people for the first time in 2 days. i havent left my house. perhaps i will be a hermit. wearing no makeup was getting a little to freaky for me. i went in and put subtle amounts on like i used to be able to do. it looks weird. i dont like it. i miss that little skinny blonde girl with the big eyes. what happened to her? oh yes...she dyed her hair black. i am tiring of this black look. i really do feel like a witch now. gothic maybe... im thinking about going brown and growing it out. it seems a little strenuous. i dont want to switch just yet. lovely sitdiary, i have been with you too long. this may seem silly of me to say, but i dont know what i would do without you. i do though. it probably wouldnt make a difference. what happened to the girl who wanted to be a writer? oh yes, now she wants to be an artist. isnt it the same thing though? just about. why not do both? because its hard to focus on one at all. conversations with myself. here we go again. back to the beginning. "there is a thin line between love and hate." i want to draw this line. literally. i think maybe this will be engaged in my next piece. Mrs. Post has taught me that anything and everything can be art. people dont listen. they dont understand. i see it. i do. its hard to be looking all the time though. because the world is such a hectic place filled with so many ideas that its hard for me to keep track. i keep on saying "next year, next year." but no. it has to be now. im still waiting for now.... fin.