dammit why do i have to screw everything up. my sister is mad at me, my life is hell, n i dont feel like living anymore. always fighting, bout stupid shit like music or the n word. come on ppl cant u see how dumb this is. of course i kno its about more than that, its about how ppl act, n the things they do even tho they kno that its a bad idea. its my fault this time. if i had kept my big mouth shut she wudnt have gotten mad at me then i wudnt be feelin ever worse than i already did. i was having dinner tonight with my mother n her 'friend'. it pisses me off the way my mom acts n the stuff she does. she thinks that she has complete control over my life n that i dont kno what i want bc she makes decisions for me. well that may be tru bc im not old enough to do it my self. but that wont last forever. i will probly always have a big mouth n screw things up but at least i will be able to run away when it happens instead of having to sit here n do nothing while i feel like shit bc of something i did n i cant take it back. well ashley if u read this, im sorry. next time i just wont say anything.