well, i dont remember if i ever said anything here about not liking jesse that much anymore. i think i did. anyways, well turns out things might be more serious than i thought. i told him i wouldnt be able to see him this summer. because of my mom and all. maybe he'll think about it and see that we should take a break for the summer. it doesnt seem like that much i know, but it was so hard for me to explain...or even say. there is more to it but i didnt tell him all. just about the summer thing. no i didnt tell him that i dont really like him as much as i used to...or thought i did. and that we dont have that much in common, we dont seem to be a very good match, things arent really going anywhere, he's so gorgeous....um ok that wasnt part of the problem...well ok maybe it is. maybe because he is so wonderful that i cant break his heart. so i will do nothing. forget today ever happened....that is until tomorrow, im sure he has been thinking about what happened today quite a bit...and if not, then it doesnt really matter much, but if he has, then he probly thought of something. i dont know. this song is awesome. i cant wait till weezer's new cd comes out. they rock. must there always be drama in my life? i think so. dont think i could live without it. i wish i could stop being so depressed. nothing helps. i cant even think of a really good reason why i am. it's depressing to be depressed. that made no sense. *takes a deep breath and exhales* what will happen tomorrow....oh i cant wait.