i used to think i could help peple with their problems and give good advice. apparently i can't, and i just make things worse. i've known him all of my life. i've talked to him for forever, and all the time i tried to help. tried to make him feel better, tried to make things seem not as bad. never helped a bit. 'im so depressed.' 'my life sucks.' 'you're lucky.' 'im so misfortunate.' then after speaking to one of MY best friends, after one night he ahs a new best friend and he is Mr. Happy. why couldnt i help him feel better? what is it that i cant seem to do? now life has a brand new prospect, and of course im happy for it, but why could i do nothing but make his life remain miserable? my sister, i used to talk to her for hours, we talked all the time. i used to help her with problems, i was good at it and actually helped according to her. now i dont even talk to her. i say hey, whats up, that sounds like fun, and then the conversation is over. she doesnt even talk to me anymore. and i can say whatever i want about her here becuase she hasnt read my diary since i first started it. she has been in california for a week and got back last night and all she could say to me was i dont wanna talk about it bc im tired. then it was over. eddie is the only reason i even get online to talk to people and he hasnt even been on in the past week. i cant' even talk to him the same way after i broke his freakin heart. he still holds it against me to this day. it's only come up again once or twice but i know he thinks about how much he hates me for what i did every time we talk. matt, he talks to me non stop when we're together, when he comes over there isnt a breath between us and my sides hurt from laughing. online we hardly talk. he has other people to talk to who obviously are more interesting than me. even my boyfriend gets bored with me sometimes i can tell. even my friends, can find something more interesting to do. ugh, now i feel all upset and angry and left out. tomorrow can't get here fast enough. once i go to school and get to see people who talk to me, whether or not they enojoy it, i wont feel at all like this tomorrow. but that's not the point. i feel like this today, right now, because the people who i used to get along with so nicely have some how forgotten how to say hello every once in a while.