grr.. yesturday BIG entry.. but got deleted.. so.. here is some of it. I got myself into somethin real deep now.. and i dont think i can get myself into it. i need to tell my rents.. but im afraid to see what they will do. and i think they might even throw me out.. and if not.. then they will always look at me with disppointment.. they always said i was going to be a good child.. and now look at me... they wont even be able to look at me. im so scared.. i am gonna wait till after the holidays to tell them... so i dont spoil the holidays for em. Im afraid i wont be able to do winter guard after i tell them... and if im not allowed to n e more.. then everyone on winter guard.. is gonna hate me. including mr. sanz.. cuz we already got most of the drill down.. and if im not there... there will be an empty spot.. i guess they can find someone else... but someone already quit before and yea... I feel as if.. i were still in NJ i would have never gotten myself into this mess.. cuz i would have had my friends to pull me outta of n e thing i got myself into.. and down here.. i dont have any friends like the ones i did in Jersey.. they were the best.. i am never gonna be able to replace any of them.. god i miss em!.. i guess im just tryin to blame it on sumthing... but i cant.. i guess its actually just my fault... and grr.. i really need help.. i dont know what to do.. my friend gave me some advice.. but i dont know if i could do that. but im prob. gonna have to at the end. :'(.. other than that... im ok.. i guess... grr.. last night.. my candle.. the glass around it broke.. i guess cuz it was too hot.. and it was sharp on one side.. and i made little fringe in my finger! it was awesome! but it didnt bleed.. and then by ACCIDENT i cut my wrist... i didnt mean to! and it started bleeding.. and then it dried.. and everytime i moved my wrist the cut would like brake apart.. and.. ow.. it hurt. lol.. This kid invited me to go to the beach today with him and his friend from... JERSEY! thats right.. hes from jersey! he just got down yesturday... but.. i dont know if im gonna go... even tho i LOVE the beach!... i just dont kno.... hmm... ill prob. end up not going. so.. i'll prob. just be bored all day today.. too.. just like yesturday.. well.. nothing else really to say... so long. -Nikki-