OMG!.. Zac I Med me this morning.. and then just before we were talking.. and he heard bout what happened on sunday.. and he was really pissed about that.. and omg. i screwed up any last chance i had with zac.. and god.. I dunno whats wrong with me.. just as things could have gotten better... I went and did something stupid.. and now things have gotten so much worse.. the thing with the kid sunday.. didnt mean anything. god.. theres soo much fucking drama here.. and i hate it.. i just want it to all go away.. i wish... i just wish none of this had happened... and zac was saying how i make him feel like nothing.. and.. i wish i didnt. I really like him a lot.. I need him.. god. everything is just sooo fucked up.. then he was saying he was gonna fuck that kid up.. and.. :(.. what am i doing? I don't belong here at all.. I fuck up other peoples lives.. and grr OMG! and then zac told me that when he I M ed me.. that that was b.c he missed me!.. and.. omg!!! I don't know what I'm doing anymore. guys suck.. they should all die. I wish i were still a kid.. when guys had cooties. lol.. but god.. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need help.. I really wish i still had zac. I really need him right now.. I miss him soo fucking much. I just want him to hold me. but I fucking fucked things up with him. god.. Im soo stupid. I dont think before i act. GR!! why am always constantly screwing things up!? but god.. I'm sure your getting sick of me complainin about.. "ohhh.. My life sucks.. blah blah blah..." im sure other peoples do too.. but.. things could have been getting better if i didnt fucking screw it up all the fucking time. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!