I think im depressed. About what? I'm not sure. (I guess it could also just be mood swings.. haha. Cuz my family is known for having horrible mood swings.) I think I have a clue. And thats about losing a friend. And whats going on now. But I don't want to say cuz certain people read this. So thats enough info on that matter. Also.. I think I want someone back in my life... Like a guy.. haha. Haven't had a real thing like that since... Zac.. haha. And thats pretty sad. I guess. I think i'm starting to like this kid Nick.. But he's in NY right now. And.. I think I might just wanna stay friends with him. Even tho I'm startin to like him. I just have this weird feeling as if im saving myself for someone or not trying to get close to anyone.. like im waiting for the right person. Hoping they will just come along and sweep me off my feet?.. haha. I know I sound like a dork! Maybe cuz I am? heh. but I don't know. I am just so confused right now. I have so many thoughts passing through my mind. Like What if this... and What if that.. I just need to stop.. and say this is happening and this isnt.. Need to get realistic. And I fear it might have been a mistake to go to Jersey. I mest up some friendships and what not. And I made a complete fool of myself. and..//sigh.. I don't know much of anything these days... Well.. I never know.. now do I?... I better start workin on trying to know somethin.. shouldn't I?.. heh.. later. ♥ Nicole ♥