I can be so mean sometimes its not even funny. I dont know why but it feels like the only way to let people know that i am upset is to bitch at them. Its like they dont notice so im like "fine i will MAKE you notice!!!" so i get pissy. Its not their fault i know. i bet if i was a more cheerful person in general it would be easier to tell when i was really down. but im just not peppy and i dont fake things . so i guess average and shitty with me is hard to distinguish between. i dont like to bitch at people. it brings drama and sometimes when i do, i think i target the ones it would be easiest to make feel bad. im not hateful. its just sometimes i need reasurance that i am valued with the ones i value. im def. not making anything that i bitch about up, but i dont want to be a baby about it . i dunno its like a dark cloud comes over me selfish... its not right. i need fix this