whoa a whole entry just for you dont you feel special its times like this when i wish i still talked on phones. but i dont so ive got this box in front of me. it would be nice if you would just stay online or SOMETHING... i tried to talk to you and you ignored me so im left with the diarys to do this. what do you want me to do ????? tell me and ill do it . im guessing ive upset you in some way. at least a little. and i think ive found something of yours. look if you are busy then you can have all the time you need im not going to get angry with you because you dont have a lot of time. i know what its like to have a schedule. i wasnt ever even mad at you! you never needed to apologize to me. i regret telling anyone anything because this has all gotten to be much bigger of a deal than i ever wanted it to be. i just think that if we arent going to see much of eachother and then we stop talking on top of that then that doesnt lead to much of a relationship. and even you said that you were getting shy around me. and its not even like im saying that it was your fault. i just wanted to do something about it. this was not supposed to be a big production. and i really am sorry that i cant relax. do you not think i take chances? because i think that ive taken a huge chance with you. if you wanna go there then id like to inform you that all my entries are now PUBLIC. only about half of them were about you and the rest just other personal stuff but you can read a few if you want and maybe youll start to see why i am the way i am. and youll probably just think im nuts but whatever. im too tired to care right now so sorry that i just said all that in a fucking online diary, sorry that i caused you so much drama, sorry that i cant relax, its not like i enjoy being this way believe me