okay so normally i would make this a private entry because its so long but i guess i just feel the need to leave the door open in case anyone has anything inspirational to say haha. bad news first.. well first of all i weigh a grand total of.... 97/98lbs. the scale wont make up its mind. i had gained some cuz i started to make myself eat even though it turns my stomach. nothing but drinks really taste good. and it pisses me off because now i just have on less thing to take pleasure in. FOOD. im getting A LITTLE shakey too. not good for art im kind of scared that my body will start using my muscles to make up for the food i dunno. i dont want to end up flabby or worse skin and bones. while this lasts im probably going to have to start running or something i dont wanna look more gross than i already do.. my mom continues to pressure me about florida. i dont know anything about that place how can i tell her if i wanna move there. stupid whore.. my grandma is nagging me about buying clothes. GOOD NEWS! im doing better in school. ALMOST have that A in algebra2 now. Hooray for me. everyone give me nice comments. and tonight i think im playing in a corn field. maybe some movies as well. so far its just gonna be me the racist and the two other non white kids. tonight is supposed to be warm so i dont think ill go home. well see if i can make it this time. i dont wanna come home im too stressed blah and im always tired but i can never sleep! arg i just need a brake i would run away but i have nowhere to go maybe i just need to get drunk or something who know. old habbits die hard .