so i have dreams that i talk to him friends i have dreams that hes even meaner to me i have dreams that he finally talks to me or tells me that he JUST NOW read all my diary entries and that hes sorry and we talk. and every time my phone rings i hope its him and every time i get a text message i hope its him. and every time its not i feel so let down. it was hard enough to feel like youre in a pretend relationship and not touching him in public because you think thats would make him uncomfortable, to be ignored, to always come second and think its okay and that i was causing all the problems. and then to find out that the whole FRIENDSHIP before that was a sham. its making me crazy he meant a lot to me he was soooo important to me and i would have done anything for him and i want so badly to find a reason to not be hurt about him leaving me but now hes abandoned me as a friend so its hard to make excuses for him. i cant do it anymore. but yeah so these dreams of mine are really haunting and make it really hard to put this all out of my mind.