christmas sucks this year. i feel so out of place. i feel so not me and i feel myself getting a little less not me every day. lately ive been looking at a lot of old pictures and for Xmas i got like 10 rolls from middle school developed and it made my day. but im looking at these pictures and my scrapbook my mom is making me and i suddenly remember that i didnt always feel the way i do now. i remember sorta feeling like i wasnt as close to my friends because i came to the group late. but never alone. and never so detatched all the time. i want that back . i want my friends back. i want me back. so depressing on christmas! im so sorry!! forgive me . have merry holidays you all