I want to teach. I would love to teach at a christian school. I would love to stay where I'm at if it paid more. I don't want to be in college. I hate hate hate it, but I've gotta get done if I want to teach and make enough money to survive on my own. I need to buckle down, save $$ and get a car, then I'll have no limits. I can travel farther for work and hopefully make more than I'm making now in a better job. I'll probably get 2 jobs, one at a preschool in Victoria and one waitressing or working retail again on the weekends. This will leave little to no time with Gerd, but maybe it's better that way...he doesn't seem to want this as much as I do. Well, maybe he does, but he doesn't seem as willing to stick it out and work through it. He wants to "date" instead of continuing like we are now. So that makes me think he wants to keep me around for backup, in case he can't find anyone else. Gerd's a drunk. I knew that he liked to drink, but nothing like this. He says that when he settles down and has a family it will stop, but I don't think it will. You can't just turn that off. He says he has nothing better to do than sit around and drink....FIND A HOBBY! Read a book, work on something, write, play guitar, whatever! I don't see how sitting with a drink occupies any time...I've never understood just sitting around getting drunk...sure, when you're out with friends, drink a couple. Even one or two's okay after a long day at work, but sitting alone getting drunk is dumb, in my opinion. And he's been knocking me down alot lately, calling me immature and in general making me feel bad. I know he's stressed with his new job and whatnot, maybe he'll mellow out after awhile. I hope. I don't know what to do....