I had such high hopes about this summer. I thought it would be the best. I thought it would be like last summer. This is nothing like last summer. This is breaking me. Nope too late I'm broke. I find my self crying alot more and I find myself not liking the fact that I am so weak and easily broken. And I hate the fact that I am feeling very emo lately....but I dont know what to do. I can sense myself changing.. everything is so fucking predictable its making me sick inside...I hate it Its 3:30 am and I dont want to sleep b/c by sleeping I'll just have to wake up to another day. Something I wrote on this early morning: ~For this I do not regret for this I only resent and with a single wish upon the only star in the sky I wish that this feeling would just die as a cloud in the picture painted as our sky I wish that this would just simply die With broken words and thoughtless remarks unhinged and unreal I shade in the lights and darks layed out and planned out and sought out and never found inside and outside and underneath the ground I'll find what I've never wanted and never get what I was searching to find just a key that has opened the door to my angry teenage mind As the flowers wilt and my hope sinks down all I can taste is what isnt around as I follow you into a place I've never ever thought I'd see again I see now it only reaps for me this is the beginning of the end and as each syllable pours and each words forms I can sense the nothingness inside all the storms waiting and degrating my young fragile mind searching for something that I just cant seem to find where are the peices that fill these holes? did someone lose them? steal them? burry them with the moles? And who will dig them up and return them to me to have and to put together so I can again be me and when will fate allow me to just be happy? no answer I see.~ I'm sry this was such a down entry like most of the others and I really dont even care about getting comments..I just had to get it out somewhere bc I dont have the ambition to paint much anymore. I'm dead.