argh...I need to get the hell out of this town. I just need to get the hell out. I might go insane from the isolation and lack of interest in anything other than sitting in front of this damn computer screen. My tarot cards are right, I am going to become a sloth. I usually make fun of people who are like I am lately. People who sit around moping and feeling bad for themselves and not doing anything.How hypicritical. But it's like I can't bring myself to do anything. Usually art is my way of escape or a way to vent but I havent picked up a paintbrush in weeks..ever since that night my world came crashing down. (listening to jack off jill now) I wish I wouldn't feel so bad about someone who didnt even care about me. I wish I could stop thinking about him, its not like thinking is going to magically put him back in my world. Fuck. I bet I sound really pathetic..I hate sounding pathetic and weak..I think I have a problem with letting people see that I am hurting. hmmm....I feel so fucking foolish. I think there must be some candy coating on me that make people interested but then it wears off and people see right throught me and see that there is nothing there..so they leave and forget me.I feel so fucking weak and I just want to cry and maybe drown in my own tears... wow okay Im thinking I better stop before I sound anymore stupid... *kissed by a star-kissed by a star-hurt by a star-FUCKED by a star* -Jack off jill on a lighter note though, me and kaelen figured out "the quiet things that no one ever knows" and I love the lead guitar riff its awesome. I cant wait til my party...we better all rock out together soon...penelope where are you!?