And i close my eyes, ignore the smoke, ignore the smoke, ignore the smoke... mmhmmm love this song...oh how it soothes my soul. it hurts.. it hurts to look at the past. oh how it burns! its been months since it happened and it makes my stomach turn inside out. im reading the old messages..and..im deleting them all of them. id keep them, but what for? i dont believe i can afford to carry this on any longer...there was never a him...no..never as i read each of them..they get ..well they show more emotion...each on gradually uncovers his real intentions..and i allowed it..just picked me up..just to push me down.. romantic...and then boom out of no where.. ridiculous an idiot a mere fool tied on a string and dragged everywhere and held down by .. why? what was i thinking? what was going through my mind? did i believe any good was to come from it?? i wasnt.... i was soo intoxicated, all my senses failed to warn me of the great danger he presented... the havoc he caused...the damage...irreversable... but no, i must not dwell on it. i must move on, but not quite yet. a lesson is to be learned from this experience.. dont be so willing, perhaps that is the lesson. "i cant make you hang around, i cant wash you off my skin" hmm well, better not dwell on other news.. well hmm grease has a bun in the oven along with tail, ash, rian, fresh! theres more!!! yes! "for you, i will cry...cry for you...." no more -blue