there's something missing, haven't figured out what. that's probably why, lately, i've had many cravings. it would be great to just grab an edgy object, and with a magnitude of force, make a giant incision on my left arm, and tear away at the flesh.. just to see what's left... for a long time, i've had this fear of not being able to make it through the summer... it's not that im suicidal or anything, it's just that... i feel that something is going to happen... an accident.. something... call it intuition... or paranoia... i know it's coming. i've also had really agressive dreams... i hate porn.... i want to do something, i just don't know what... want to carve the walls with my nails and create a mural so amazing and detailed, that even the blood on the walls from my fingers will be overshadowed by it. i think i might be sick. ========================= today i saw the hulk... it reminded me of the times i use to allow all rage within myself, be thrown at those around me... completely allowing everyone to feel, to know the juggernaut that had been contained. i miss mexico