earlier this word came to mind, "gum". why gum? i don't know. this energy is easier to handle now, i can manage to keep it in some kind of order. i write, constantly, and it makes things okay. when i write i usually have an audience; i don't like being stared at when i'm writing.

how do i feel right now? hm. feel, my body is tired. yesterday for the first time in several months i deadlifted two 45's, four sets of 8 reps. i'm not going to lie, i was terrified. the last time i lifted that much i really messed up my back, plus i was wearing a belt... i was so stupid. last time i did three sets of twelve. i had no technique and was out for a week.