i understand things now.

you do realize that i don't think you realize any of this. no. you just, you're so damn oblivious.

she told me that older was better, more mature and all that.

i think older, in this case, means more set in his way. shameless, spineless, don't know what to call it but i know that i don't agree. it does not go with me. this is no compatible with what i am. we don't fit.

it happens every time. ha. just what i fucking deserve. all that bull shit negative energy i sent out, boom here we are. thanks. i get it universe, i was a jerk.

i'm hurt.

you know, as angry as i feel, the tears just are there. the motherfucking tears are there. fucking great. i can already feel it, i'm closing up again. what stupid trouble am i going to get myself into this time.

they just want to have you. all they want is to take and tame. the nickname fits him well. i'm so sad. don't think it's hurt me this much in months. probably because i yeah. so recent too.

i could have my pick. i can choose anyone, anyone. i don't need to resort to cheap tricks to entice. you don't see me. you don't see the person that i am. i know i'm my biggest, well among my biggest critics, yet even i can see that i'm okay. i'm an okay human being. i can't say i don't know how to feel, that would be a lie, i should feel upset and i damn well do. fuck. every fucking time.

i'm not going to hold your hand and say everything's okay. i'm not your damn mother. if you still need that kind of guidance from someone you are too fucking lost. i may not know exactly what i want, but i sure do know i want to be happy, and i know that making the same choices is not going to get me there.