"I don't see him."

She picked him up at the waist and sat him on her shoulder as they turned to the arena. The crowd was already on their feet cheering for the upcoming rider and she knew he was getting anxious. When the lights dimmed and a rider walked to the center of the stage, she heard her son grow quiet.

"Lets give him a welcoming hand everyone and show him just where he belongs!"

The lights were turned up once more and they saw the riders standing around the pit, waiting on the signal. The three outside in the arena saw the nod and yanked the gate open. The white bull raced out into the arena bucking and spinning like a crazed twister. The crowd cheered and whistled as the rider took each jar in stride and held tight and high on the bull's back. The bull tossed his head and bucked, trying everying possible to throw the man and when the buzzer went off, the man released his hold.

Slipping off the bull, the man stepped back as the barrel clowns came in between him and the animal wanting to crush him. The ringing in his ear from the crowd and the yells of the clowns mixed together as he jogged over to the railing and his competing buddies helped him up over the bar. Taking his hat off, he turned to face the fans and was welcomed with roars of cheering and screaming.

"That was awesome!"

She smirked and lowered him down once the rider disappeared down behind the wall. Glancing at the crowding people around her, she took Will's hand and they left the stands. They stopped by the exit and waited for the score to be given. Nearly perfect numbers were read off and she smirked as she and Will walked outside.

Feeling her memory slipping into her subconscious, she opened her eyes and met the morning's rays. Bear was still asleep on his pillow and she slowly rolled onto her back. The arm resting on her waist loosened as she looked at the owner. The sun was playing with his blonde hair, reminding her why she had been pulled to him long ago, and she gently ran her fingers through the glistening locks. She caught his restraining arm and gently removed it as she slid out of bed.

Her legs were still unsteady beneath her and she caught hold of the dresser to keep her upright. Letting the blood flow and balance return, she dug out clean clothes and walked into her bathroom. She shut the door behind her as she flipped the light on and started the water. As it warmed, she let her hair down and slid off her clothes. They pooled on the floor and she stepped beneath the warm shower.

The water pressure kneaded her skin until she felt the weariness lift from her and she let out a soft sigh of relief. She took her time washing her hair and rinsing it, letting the heat and water pressure loosen every inch of her. She washed her skin at a faster pace and quickly rinsed off before turning the water off. She dried herself off with her towel waiting for her outside the shower and dressed in a new pair of faded denim jeans and a blue t-shirt. Her feet were kept warm in a pair of white socks and her combed hair was pulled back off her neck and out of her face.

Gathering her clothes, she walked back into the bedroom and put the sleeping clothes away. The rest ending up in a hidden basket in her closet and she turned the bathroom light off. Glancing back at Reese, she grabbed her boots and opened her bedroom door. Walking down the stairs, she let the quiet sound fill her with tranquility and walked into the kitchen. She pulled on her boots and laced them before digging out some food for breakfast.

She poured two glasses of juice and set the table while figuring out what she was going to make. Eggs were the day before and she knew anyone could get tired of eating the same food too often. Lord knows she was sick of pudding and jello, has been since Will was born. The memory that came with that thought threatened to erase and overwhelm her with the reality she wanted to not accept just yet for the day. Leaning against the counter, she started at the window and heard the quiet steps coming down the stairs.

Glancing over her shoulder, she watched Bear enter the room and rubbed his head when he came around the counter to greet her. He looked over at his bowl and she smirked before digging out his breakfast. As he chowed down on the food, she decided on making her mother's old french toast recipe. She couldn't remember if Reese enjoyed it but pancakes were always his best and she didn't want to trod on that line just yet. They were getting along and if she took over making all breakfast options, she wasn't sure if it would just slip past him or if it would bring back the tension they sometimes fell into.

She couldn't understand why it still came between them exactly but she knew one part of it was her doing. There was still much she wasn't letting him know and she knew if she held it back much longer she won't be around to tell him. He'd have to hear it from her family and she doubted he could ever forgive her for it. She wouldn't if it happened to her but then she couldn't live with the thought of laying everything out for him when he had just started getting past the blow to the stomach he received when he found out about his son.

"That window that damn interesting?"

Pulling her thoughts together, she looked back at the door and found him leaning against the frame. He had gotten cleaned up and come down without her even registering it. Her thoughts have been becoming more overwhelming and time consuming, leaving her less alert and aware of what is going on around her.

"Just thinking about breakfast."

"Joe."

She ignored the cool covered pry and said "Take a seat. I'll have it ready in a few."

Silently he seated himself and watched her make french toast. He recognized it as her mother's old recipe by the smell and the way she was preparing it. He clearly remembered how amazing it tasted every time her mother made it. It was hard to believe that memory was so long ago when he was in the same place with the same Joe, well in terms of who her family is. It didn't take a highly educated person to see the differences in her from the woman that had just come back from her stint at college back East.

She had grown up a lot while at school and had become a highly valued prize for the surrounding youth. He remembered the day she had returned and the crazy party everyone had planned days before her return. Back then, he hadn't made much of it until the moment their eyes met and he had felt that jolt leave him motionless as her family escorted her home. He couldn't believe it was the same fireball Joe he had spent his childhood with, playing pranks on other kids. When she first spoke to him and flashed her devilish grin everyone knew her for that night, he knew he was in trouble but didn't want to admit to himself.

It only took the next morning when she had come down from breakfast, her hair down from sleep and her wearing a flannel over a shirt and pair of sweatpants for him to know how bad it was going to get. Of course that was just the beginning to their soon to be secretive affair. Turning his thoughs back onto the woman in front of him now, he could see a little of that young woman in her but not too much was still around. Anyone with eyes could see she had bloomed with the birth of Will but if you got close enough to look past her calm mask, you could see how tired she was becoming and the worries that kept growing heavier on her shoulders. Watching her put the food on a plate, he set his thoughts aside for time when he was alone and allowed to pull them back out.

She sat across from him with no food and instead she had another glass of the red medicine that he doubted was working. It seemed to be barely taking the edge off the agony he knew was going on inside her. What he couldn't understand was how she was still holding on as well as she was. His mother didn't have such strength after a few months but here Joe was, six years with this disease and holding on. She had even shown improvement or so he was told.

He doubted people really looked that close after she had started recovering. It wouldn't be easy to watch such a woman suffer and when she started to improve they clung to that hope and he knew it blinded them. Her family might still have a close eye on her condition but they never talked about it or insisted she take a break for herself. He knew she wouldn't but if he mentioned anything, the small amount of hospitality he was receiving would cease and he would be having to watch his back until he was up to getting out of this place. Feeling an old jolt sweep through him, he glanced at her again and found her watching him.

Her brown eyes were still as intense as ever but he was starting to be able to see past her mask and notice the little signs of her struggle.

"Need help this morning with the chores?"

"You need to rest or you will have a relapse before you can get home."

"I'm fine."

She leaned back in her seat and said "Not my orders."

He finished the last few bites of food in front of him and leaned back into the chair. Her eyes never turned away and he took a drink to wash the food down.

"Doc mentioned this?"

She nodded and said "He told me you would need to be cautious on how hard you push yourself. You were extremely ill when we brought you here."

He frowned and said "I feel fine."

"You wouldn't say that if I hit your shoulder."

"You hit my shoulder and anything I say won't be counted against me."

A hint of a smirk captured her face and he stood up. She watched him as he carried his dishes over to the sink and cleaned them. The man dried his hands and turned around to look at her.

"I've been in worse conditions."

"I know."

He watched her stand and bring her empty glass to the sink. She washed it and left it to dry next to his dishes and turned her eyes back on him. Every time those brown eyes settle on him he feels the want to pull her to him and hold her safely to him, pushing all the worries and struggles away.

"The others will be back tonight. If we want to get anything done and not be worn out we better start now."

She walked into the hall and he let out a sigh. Leaving the kitchen, he followed her outside and across the drive to the barn. The woman opened the doors and let the morning light inside, stirring the animals from their slumber. They each took one side of the stalls and began to lead the horses out into the pasture. Champ and Daemon were left for their work-outs and the empty stalls were cleaned and had new straw laid in them.

Joe grabbed her tack off the wall and walked back to Daemon. He eyed the leather gear and she unlocked his door. Silently he waited as she saddled him and adjusted the straps. When she slid the bridle over his face and latched it snug against his face, he snorted. She caught hold of the bridle and they walked to the door.

Glancing back at Reese, she found him walking Champ from his stall and they mounted the stallions. Letting them stretch their muscles, they trotted into the fields and allowed the horses to decide how fast they wanted to go. Joe glanced at Reese and found him studying her again. She turned her focus onto the woodland boundry and slowed Daemon to turn back. As they flew back toward the barn, she felt tension slip through her and she quickly dismounted outside the barn doors.

Daemon was released into the pasture and she hung his tack as Reese returned. She watched him turn Champ loose and moved to the door. Eyeing the field, she felt the tension growing and glanced around for Bear. He was lounging on the porch steps but his ears were up. Slowly he lifted his head and rose.

He came down the porch steps and met her at the barn door. They watched the field and spotted the racing horse come for them. Reese joined her at the door and they watched Grace pull her horse to a stop. Reese took hold of the horse's bridle as the girl climbed down and walked to her mother.

"Where is Will?"

Grace took a deep breath and said "Uncle Billy is bringing him. He got scraped up real good."

She looked back to the field and watched Bear take off. In a few moments she made out her brother's stallion and felt Grace wrap a hand around her arm. Reese put the horse in the pasture and returned just as Billy was pulling his horse to a hault. He saw the boy covered in scratches and a few of them bleeding. Joe helped him down and walked him into the house.

He followed them into the kitchen and found her cleaning the open cuts with a first aid kit sitting next to them on the counter.

"Ow!"

Will jerked back when the alcohol hit the cut on his head and she pushed his guarding hand aside.

"Stop squirming."

He sighed and caught Reese's gaze. The man stood in the doorway watching and Will turned back to his mother. She covered all the open cuts with band-aids and put the other supplies away.

"When did this happen?"

"This morning right before Teddy went with his parents."

She put the kit away and washed her hands with hot water to ensure the bacteria was gone. She made sure to never transfer any more blood with her son as possible. Grabbing a glass from the cabinet, she poured him some of his least favorite drink and handed it to him.

"I didn't lose that much blood."

"Drink it and go change your clothes."

With a sigh, he took the glass and sipped from it as he left the kitchen. Reese watched him disappear upstairs and looked back at Joe. She was cleaning the counter Will had been sitting on and he crossed the room.

"He take a lot of falls?

She met his amber gaze and said "Yes."

"I wouldn't have figured he would be clumsy."

Joe put the cloth into a basket under the sink and said "He is trying to get tough so he can go hop on a bull someday."

"He's seen me?"

She nodded and said "Every year when the tour comes near."

A frown slowly slid across his face and he looked out the window. He wasn't sure if he was more hurt or angry. The fact that Will has been able to see him this whole time and he didn't know the kid was around left him with another blow to his gut.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Joe leaned against the counter and said "I wanted to tell you. That's why we went. We just never stayed longer once your round was over."

"You know this isn't fair. It wasn't your decision to make."

"You're right. Will never asked to meet you. He knew who you were and that was enough for him."

Reese looked back at her and asked "Did he ever ask?"

She took a deep breath and said "No. We had agreed when we both knew the time was right, I would have you meet him."

"You mean once you passed."

The words caused her jaws to tighten and she walked around the counter. Reese watched her leave the room and let out a sigh when he heard the door shut to the porch. Raking a hand through his hair, he took a deep breath and cursed himself. He knew better than to throw that at her face. She was trying to make everything work and provide the best for the kids while fighting for her life.

"I can see why my uncles don't like you."

Looking back over his shoulder, he found Will standing on the other side of the counter. The boy turned his own amber eyes on him and hopped up onto the nearest chair.

"Don't blame Mom for you not knowing about me. I was the one who never asked to meet you."

"I heard."

Will shrugged and said "Once I got old enough to understand what happened, I knew by asking to get to know you I would be causing more trouble than we needed."

"Not suprised. Our families never could get along for a long period."

The boy nodded and said "Just remember, even though you know who I am you don't know my mom. She has put everything she has into this place and even when I was sick in the hospital she managed to run everything from the seat in my room. She's a strong person and remarks about that stupid disease isn't fair to her."

"I know."

"By the way, do you know what happened to her necklace?"

"What necklace?"

Will took a deep breath and said "The one she kept on her with the ring. When things got bad, she always told me as long as we had that, everything would work out. It was a way of knowing you were around when we needed you, especially when she was getting worn out. It gave her strength I think."

Reese looked away from him and out the window. The boy was telling it straight to his face, a quality both Joe and he possessed but his aged mentality was what was bothering him. Will was protecting Joe from him and it was working. He heard the chair legs scoot back and watched the boy get down.

"By the way, if we are supposed to know each other I think I better be able to see where your family has always lived. We don't have to do anything special, but I'd like to know what it is you do at your home when you aren't bullriding."

"I'll talk with Joe."

The boy smirked, the same smirk Joe possessed, and it sunk into him. Reese watched Will leave the kitchen and raked a hand through his hair once more. The more time he spent here, the more he understood that he didn't know Joe as much as he had thought back in the winter. His own son was telling him about stuff he didn't even let cross his mind. The more he heard about these last six years the more he wished he hadn't been too proud to come looking for her.

Needing to talk to Joe again, he left the kitchen and walked outside. Sweeping the driveway with his gaze, he walked into the barn and found it empty. The horses were still out back and all the tack was still hanging up. Barking drew him back to the door and he followed it into the field. He heard laughter with the barking and found Joe sitting on the top of one of the low hills, watching the kids play with Bear.

He took a seat next to her and said "I was out of line."

She kept her gaze on the three and said "You were just telling me what you felt."

"It was stupid though. You know what's going on better than I do. I was just being an ass because of another blow to my pride."

A small smirk appeared and she said "That you were."

"Will straightened me out."

This time she turned to look at him and he said "We talked for a few before he came outside."

"About?"

"About you and him wanting to come see my family's home."

"Are you okay with that?"

He looked down at the kids running from Bear and said "Yeah. It's the right thing. I can't stay a stranger to him."

Joe looked back at the three and asked "How did you want to do this?"

"How long is their break?"

She took a deep breath and said "Two more months."

His amber eyes looked back at her and he said "I could take him every other week or every two weeks."

"Sounds reasonable."

She kept her gaze veered from him and he said "I know you said to not feel obligated but he is my son. I want to know who he is and he said he should at least get to know what I am doing when I'm not touring."

Slowly she looked back at Reese and said "I agree, but I am worried about Grace. While Will can get to know his father, she doesn't have that luxury."

"If it helps, I could have her come with Will once he feels comfortable around the place."

"If she feels up to it, it would be nice of you to do that."

He watched her look away again and caught her chin. Her brown eyes were tired and he knew she had been sitting here thinking before he got here. He brushed his lips against her temple and she closed her eyes.

"You should eat something."

She smirked and said "You may get to do that with Will, but it doesn't work on me."

"I know."

He looked back at the kids and saw the riders emerging from the woods. A frown slid over his face and she saw his prominent jawline tighten.

"Glaring daggers at my brother won't help. He's just as protective as you."

"He's with my sister and nephew. He just met Teddy but look at them."

She saw the boy riding with Jeff and said "Not going to be any different than what will happen once you get to know Will."

Reese looked back at her and she laughed softly at the murderous look on his face. The sound released some of the despite and possessiveness inside and he watched Jeff let Teddy down to join his cousins before heading their way with Callie. The two men sent cold looks to each other and Reese watched them go by to the barn.