just when everything was goin good the teenage thing comes in parents can be sooo dumb mom just brings up stupid things and it pisses me off cuz she already brought it up today so then she brought it up again and it just really pissed me off and i just blew up and got really pissed well and then dad stepped in cuz i couldnt control my anger and i was yelling alot and it just pissed me off like i havent had a fight with them for the longest amount of time and i ran up to my room cuz i didnt want to deal with it and shit so he's like dont go cry and im like i dont cry and let me point out that i didnt cry ugh at times i just wish i wasnt here i wouldnt have a problem and dont tell me shit that you want to talk to me about my problems thanx for the welcoming helping hand but i dont need it i shut myself out when im afraid and i only turn to God and when i can i find someone like sarah just cuz i know she deals with the same stuff and right now i could use a hug from her like i used to have erica to talk to but shes gone now and i want my daughter i havent had a fight with my parents where my dad has yelled like that for a while well i think a few weeks ago but that wasnt as bad he just pisses me off sometimes and it makes me soooo mad its just grrr oh my gosh the tornado sirrons just went off hit the deck lately my feelings have been all over the walls and life is just throwin itself back at me and im really mad i got in a fight with my parents and stuff cuz things have been really good and close between us and i love them soo much but they just threw me in a corner and made things a hell of a lot worse and its just one more thing to worry about or frustrate me and it makes me mad cuz mom will be goin to surgery soon and everything is comin up and im excited to get confirmed cuz i think its gonna be a big thing for me although my pastor might think that i dont take church seriously i do and i really am close to god or at least i try to be and lately thats the only thing i want to turn to and ive been praying for rain and i just hope it comes maybe this tornado that could be comin is a sign of something i dont know i just know that i prayed for rain tomorrow so i dont have my golf meet so me and sarah L can go to the movies and maybe the big kahuna and stuff and meet guys or something i dont know lol but i want to get better i want more sleep ive been getting really fat lately too so i have to watch my weight but i wont be stupid trust me im just gonna cut off of the eating out of my meals like dont eat before or after them unless im gonna eat a veggie or fruit cuz those are good for me so yes i shall go ugh we relized what his french name was he's paul im in love with PAUL! not really cuz theres no such thing as love if the other person doesnt like you OOOH NEW THING... JESS IS GONNA GIVE ME A HUG TOMORROW YEAH!!!