I am having a hard time trying to accept change these days especially because around this time last year, me and my ex really started to fall apart. I guess maybe I am missing how close me and him where, and how well we knew each other back then. I think I am just being an idiot. Before this week, I was totally and completely done thinking about wut shudda been what cudda been. Idk what my problem is these days... I want to be able to be open with Matt, and everything a good gf is, but there is something that is stopping me. grr it makes me mad because I should'nt be feeling this way. I have Matt, the most understanding wonderful person I have ever met. He is o so good to me. But I think the problem is that I dont want to start all over again with someone new when there is someone out there that already knows enough about me in order to spend the rest of our lives together. but he has changed and so have I and I kno for a fact that it is better if me and him go our seperate ways. but it always seems to come back to him because I shared so much with him. and to have to let that go is not something I would like to do. but I have matt now and I know that matt is better person than he is. but it sucks because I miss him so much. and its even more complicated because when it is just me and him, we are back to normal. the way we were back then. Idk.... I think I should just move on and leave this all behind... and I was doing so well.