hello all. addressing u, in this cold house. yes i love my house. but there is going to be some major drama here this year. the pool will be packed with everyone. and yea, idk. i'll make it fun because me and my darling will be together all the time. btw we're together for a third time which i kno prolly iritates u ppl. lol three times? there must be some strong feelings there. there are tho. fer real. i love it. i mean tonight... was amazing. its always amazing with you. i felt nervous cuz yea, i was afraid his parents would snap on us for being on the hammock together, but they didn't. most of the events are in his sit, but yea. it was fun. and yea he was there, he always is there... school, festivals, my pool. i mean i just have to get over that. and my darling helped me with that last night. i didn't want to act like i did. but he's always there. and ur right; i did just let it get to me. but i won't. because i love you. i really do. you make me feel a way i've never felt about anyone before. i can be myself and be totally comfortable around him. i let him love me and i love him. there is so much trust there, and i've embraced that. i've learned to move on, and yes my past likes to haunt me. God likes to test my ability to move forward and not go back to those times in my life. yes its hard. but who said life was easy? I love my darling. when we're together, its us... no one else but us. no other people, no other feelings getting in the way. when i'm with him there is no other person but him on my mind. that is how much i think of him. on every single level he amazes me. its perfect, beyond perfect. i could spend the rest of my life with him. but i wont look into the future. i love living in the moment. i love every moment with him. every moment with you makes me so happy. i love it. i love you. night all.