not a good start, well i am sitting here... addressing u from my computer. waiting for my tanning oil to soak in for the next 14 minutes so i can go out and let the sun embed itself into my skin and make me darker. today is not a good day.. feeling kinda depressed about myself. ugh, i am so ugly. i hate my appearance and everything about it. this better go away before the quince on Friday. *sigh* i dont like my outfit anymore...... well i kinda do, lol.. but i dont like how i look in it. BLAH. ugh, yucckkk... i am wearing my retainer all day for the next 4 days because thats when my orthodontist appointment is and i need to start wearing it again. it is really hurting my mouth so that naturally gets me in a bad mood. i knew i would end up feeling like this once Matthew was not here. he always cheers me up. but he's not fucking here, and that makes me sad. *cries* i am so dependent on him, but i have a right to be... he's so worth it. :D well... not i have 10 minutes to wait until the sun is at its hottest so i can get nice and dark and gloat to my white friends on Friday, BWUAHAHAHA... :P *kisses u aLL!* Fe