I'm becoming more than I wish to be. Not true. I am as I will it. I feel so solid. Cold. Hungry. I want to devour this place. Destroy this hell and make it my own. I have laughed more in the past few days than I have in so very long. Perhaps I've gone insane? I don't care. I enjoy this. This feeling of great power that is welling up inside me. I am not god. I am not almighty. But I am not afraid of my flaws anymore. My fear has seemingly been so overwhelmed with rage that it has all but dissappeared. I've given in to my "darker side" if you will. The wickedness in me that delights in the ruthless horrors of life. The twisted humor I find here elates me. Its sick. And in that I delight more and more! Have I truely changed so much? No. The "unseelie" side has merely overpowered any care I had. No longer will I forgive. No longer will I make amends for the sake of peace. "This is the last smile that I'll fake for the sake of being with you." F*ck mercy. F*ck pity. F*ck second chances. They are no longer "second" chances, and haven't been for far too long. You have out lived your welcome. I'm sick of the lies and the betrayals and the whole rotten cylce! I will no longer allow YOUR weakness to overshadow ME! I made my mistakes, and I will not say I won't make more, but I will NOT hide behind my pride. I will NOT deceive myself. Others perhaps, but mot myself. And I will not suffer annoyances I despise so intensely unless I deem the cause worthy. I will dole out the suffering where I will it and only those strong enough will deserve my concern, only those worthy will receive any better. This is my time. This is my rage. This is my power. Do not cross me, do not cross those few I hold dear, or you will suffer the agony of my will. You will become my toys. The world is my garden, bearing forth what I will it. Life is my toy box, giving me so much to break. :)