This Dance...

Now I cry myself to sleep, For you, my friend, this night I weep And if I die before I wake It's one less heart that I will break At first you're just another toy One more tempted, daring boy Perfect for the games I play And yet... you led my heart astray.... You whisper the sweet words I dread I want to die, but smile instead I know I'll only run away But maybe... just for one more day...? I'll dance the dance and pray to god That you won't see through my facade And when I go, love, please believe I loved you, thus I had to leave So now I cry myself to sleep For you, my love, these tears I weep And if, somehow, I never wake My lover's heart shall never break
I wrote this a long time ago, found it again and re-wrote it, then re-wrote it yet again. It just gets better I think... still painful though. Who it was for though... is a mystery I may never tell. Who do I dance for..? Even I am beginning to forget... People I thought I once knew are revealing faces I do not know... In the mirror I see a stranger...
Who am I You think you know That girl in the mirror That can't be so She looks alive While I feel dead I'm not that girl Don't be misled Reflections can never show within I may cry inside While reflections grin
I'm planning on getting inked soon... have a few choices of what and where... if only I could find a way to express this aching inside me... To put a tune to this dance... perhaps a partner..? ...No. I wouldn't wish that on anyone... Yet I don't feel as if I am alone... this dream I've had since I can remember... shadows and mist... a silhouette in the drakness... hands in mine... guiding me through. A gift.... I can never see anything clearly. I only know that someone is there looking after me and guiding me through the dark. And this feeling... warmth and comfort... the feeling of being wrapped in strong and gentle arms.... the feeling of belonging... and longing... I dance for a dream....
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keep dancing for there must be hope at the end of all this, otherwise why do we continue to fight?