I read my first entries in this journal today. I had almost forgotten the good times. They were REALLY good... it made me remember some of the things I used to love. And some of the reasons I loved. I guess I just got too bitter and too insecure to remember why I got myself into this situation in the first place... I needed to remember. I fell completely in love two years ago, and though its been rough as hell, I'm still in love. As he said, you have to heat and pound metal to make it stronger... And we've definately done our share of heating... and pounding. Heh heh... *giggle* Sorry I couldn't resist. He's still the shaggy, beautiful man I loved to hold. He still sings like an angel. And I still ache when he isn't there. True, I have a number of scars from my time with him... but maybe I just needed to remember why I endured them for me to begin to heal. Speaking of healing, I already got a reply to that email I wrote. It was a good reply. It makes me hopeful... I know HE won't be too comfortable that we're talking. He always gets uncomfortable with that... but it never turned out badly before and I think it could really help. If we could be friends then wouldn't that make things easier for him? I think he's just paranoid. But anyway, I'M tired of being bitter, and I've found that once I actually get to know a person its hard to be so angry. Deep down I really do care too much about people. :) And she seems like a really good person. In any case I believe its worth a shot. *sigh* So anyway... today's been a pretty good day. I need to get a life though. *laugh* This is my second entry today. Thats never a good sign. :) *LOL* I just got ANOTHER reply.... this seems to be going really well. I'm glad I wrote the email. Anyway... I'm going to post this now.