And here we go again! YEAY! *sigh* Don't ask... Its been a few days since I wrote... hmm... Well, the baby hasn't changed much. STill adorabe, and still driving me crazy at night. But I'm getting better, now its pretty much just at night that I go crazy, and I'm good during the day. I really need to get her in to see a doctor though... not that anything is particularly wrong (I hope), she just hasn't seen one since we left the hospital and she was supposed to go in at 2 weeks, but I couldn't get her on insurance so I couldn't make an appointment... you understand. Grease auditions are today. At 7pm. I dunno if I'll go... my mom finally got fired today, so I probably COULD do the show... but I really hate going to auditions alone... and I don't have a song prepared... *sigh* I wish I weren't so insecure. But whatever... if I want to do faire, I probably couldn't do Grease... but I don't know if I'm gonna do faire... ugh. I've been playing around with Adobe photoshop alot recently (due to lack of reliable internet) and I've gotten relatively good. For someone who has no f*cking clue what they're doing, at least. *lol* Its fun though. And I enjoy it. Its a new way to "artisticly express myself". And I can't find my sketch pad... and I've been completely lacking in the poetry department... so it works. :D I'll put something up on this when I have a pic that I feel like posting. Yeay! So... yeah, anywho... I'm actually a little down right now. I shouldn't be... but I was, you know, THINKING again... *l* Goat put in for vacation time at work... He took off April 30th and May 1st. *grin* So yeah.. we have a date tentatively set. We're getting married... nothing big.. but.. *sigh, smile* Finally... Anyway... that got me thinking about love again (seems to be on my mind alot lately)... and I started thinking about Her... and I'm a little sad. I don't honestly know how she feels about Goat and I getting hitched... I know what she SAYS... but that rarely is what she really feels. (Hush! You know I'm right! At least when it comes to you being upset) And also... what if she gets married? I don't know what I'd feel then.. I mean, sure I'd be happy for her... but... I dunno... I love her, y'know? And if she gets married.. well.. there goes that. But thats unfair of me. I want her to be happy! And if she gets married I'll be happy for her... its just... well... if she gets maried, I'll never be able to kiss her again... and that makes me sad. Not that I can kiss her now. But at least there's no definate NEVER AGAIN in that sentence... marriage... would be a huge titanium wall. But like I said, its unfair of me. Why should I be allowed to get married and not her? I'm just being selfish... (though, me getting married won't keep her from being able to kiss me or anything else she might ever want to do... but its still not fair to her). Blah.. Anyway... ART! I miss art. All the forms I used to enjoy. Maybe I should go get involved again. This is what my horoscope said for today: "Okay, now here's an escalation of the action -- which is what you've been wanting more than anything. Don't step on any toes getting to where you want to be, but don't be shy, either." So whatta ya think? Should I go audition?