"Look I'm standing naked before you Don't you want more then my sex? I can scream as loud as your last one But I can't claim innocence Oh God... Could it be the weather? Oh God... Why am I here? If love Isn't forever, And it's not the weather, Hand me my leather..." Learned an important lesson last night; Crying one's self to sleep does nothing to ease early morning nose bleeds. *lol* Oh well. Last night WASN'T a particularly bad night. In fact it was quite the opposite for the most part. We had a couple friends over and we bullsh*tted around for a few hours and it was fun. But it just makes a girl cry when she's told the person who asked her to marry him probably wouldn't have if she hadn't gotten pregnant. *sigh* Don't get me wrong, he loves me and wants to be with me and all that, but in his words the baby was "a slap in the face" and we, he believes, would not be together if I hadn't gotten knocked up. Yay. And he's still in love with her. He didn't say it, but its obvious. Hard to hide it when you're apologizing to your fiancee for "being how you are" and "feeling how you feel". The same words he used in... May? Or Was it June?... It doesn't really matter I guess. It was the same words, same look, same quiet knife in the ribs... I don't think he knows I was crying. Either that or he just doesn't want to admit it. Probably that, actually... He'll never change... Oh well... The person I've been talking to through email was one of the ones to come over last night. She really is a lot of fun. Reminds me of how it used to be when I hung out with my old friends. We would always poke fun at eachother and beat eachother up. *l* I liked hanging out with her. We're supposed to hang out again in a few weeks and I think it'll be fun. Regardless of how HE feels, I still think (and hope) this was for the best. She's a nice person and a good friend... Anyway... Umm... I got a new sketch pad. :) I'm hoping maybe I'll actually think of something to sketch! *lol* And then maybe I won't be so rusty at it. I need to scan some of my more recent art and get it online. I'm actually pretty proud of some of the stuff I did in Jeff City. I'm not up to that quality of work right now anyway... Ugh and the stuff I DO have online is so OLD and UGLY! *makes a face* Bleh! I'll have to see about usuing my mom's scanner... Hm. I think I'll go do that.