here i am again. my arm is throbbing. but i love it. i can't complain. i think my brother hates me. i dont know. i think that i repluse him. i'd repluse me too. i think since he found out, he can't look at me anymore. i can barely look at myself. i just hate it. i destroyed everything. well, it started with a razor, it shall end with one too. Each moment i sit here, is another wasted oppurntity. i don;t know. everyone hates me. no one wants to hang out with me anymore. she's my "best friend" but we don't hang out anymore. fuck her. i can't stand sitting her, begging her to be my friend again. i'd do alright on my own. i could be alone. i could be ok. i could stand it. i think i am alone. i don't have friends. i have people who are ok with talking to me. they dont make an effort to hang out. they don't know any-fucking-thing about me. I think i could go 2 months without anyone noticing i'm not there. i feel like shit. i hate everything and i just want to crawl in a hole and die. it's not like anyone would fucking care