well i'm back after a week of being too lazy to post. things have seemed to clear up somewhat. and the friends although still idiots about the cause of my anger have figured out i was pissed, and seemed to shut up about their "great night". My other friend though has decided that she can't be herself around me, so there is still some crinks in the friendship, but oh well fuck them. We found a bunch of tapes last week. They were all from old xmas from 89-98. crazy. i was so young and my family was cute. there was still very dysfunticual qualities but most things were great. It was sad to see all of that. most of the time i felt like i was an asshole and screwed up the family. but i knew that b4. My hair turned out. i really like it. probably most ppl don't. but fuck them. asses. Anyway. i like how original it turned out to be. though sadly it's not exactly the purple i would have liked, it's still a very nice redish purple that fits nicely with the colour of my hair. here's the best pic i could get. Hopefully that damn pic will load. i have been on this site for almost a year and am still incompent about the loading of pictures. lmao. Ya so that's it. now i'm going to reply to my comments on my other entry. i feel like an ass cuz this one girl on this is pregnant and joked about taking herion and me being the idiot jump to conclusion type, freaked and thought she was serious. So i'm sorry for that. you didnt need that stress. cut myself again yesterday. it hurt for a long time and still hurts today. weird. maybe it's cuz i heated up this metal thing then put it on my skin. second time i've done that, but the first time was a long time ago. Oh well. My mom called the nut house. ya they cant even get me an appointment for 3 months. by then i'll probably be to fucking crazy to even move. nice system there losers. I guess it's insanity that tortured this poet.