My friendships are so shallow. I don't really feel connected with anyone at all. Its all so surreal, and fake all at once. I tell you about something, you tell me about something else. It just doesn't seem to have any depth to it, my relationships that is. Sure, I still have some fun with people at times. It just, isn't all that meaningful. Yet I'm not sure how to make it meaningful anymore. Maybe I'm trying to reach for something that doesn't exisist. Or something that's as much an illusion as a flimsy piece of paper with pretty, intricute writing on it actually meaning something. Sure lots of people think that it means a lot, but once you get right down to it, it's just piece of paper. I miss Kayleigh, I miss my old Girl Scout troop. I miss listening to conversations about 'mango' trees growing men, and joking around with the troop girls. Hopefully I'll get a decent connection going with some girls in college. I guess what I'm looking for is that magical moment where you just know that the two of you were meant to be friends. That you're perfect for each other. Sure, I've had fun with people that didn't match this description. I guess I'm just looking for more. ~Amyelk Out