Hey. Ehh, I feel like a piece of shit! I was thinking that I have like 2 friends, well ones that I hang out with, and that's not something I want. I'm not even really close with either of them, and that's also something I don't want! I dunno...like I've never been anyones best friend. Well, I was alicias for like a week. But I've never been anyones number one person, and it's kinda sad. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about my problems, and that's why i like keeping a diary. My actual written diary goes into more depth about everything going on in my life, but this one also helps. I'm just so lost, because I thought that if I was a good person and I was pleasant to be around, then people would want to be close with me, but obviously not. Like, I try my best to be as good of a person as I can, and I always get shot down. I've done very little really wrong things in my life, and I'm still a big loser that everyone hates. I'm even keepin' it real with the parents!! I'm a virgin, and I've never smoked nething, ever. Not that I'm against that stuff, but I'd just rather not right now. But, wouldnt u think people respect me for sticking up for what I believe in?! No, of course not. I guess I'm just confusing myself and neone who is reading this, but I'm getting out my feelings so it's all gravy. When someone asks, who's your best friend, I dont know what to say. It used to be so easy. I should have stuck with Natalie W., haha she turned into a freak, but if I were still her friend she wouldnt have, and she always respected me. She considered me her BEST friend, and she was my number one, and i was hers. I seriously should have just been happy how I was way back in 7th grade. Instead, I listened to Justine and ditched Natalie. Then justine goes and does the same to me...I guess I should have seen that coming, but that's not the point. I made some wrong decicions friendwise, and it's led me to being a no one to everyone. I know you probably all think that I'm doing this for pity, but I'm not. This is my diary, I'm supposed to write how I feel, and I just did... But now I g2g...later.